


The Specialist (Part II)

by orphan_account



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: AU, Adult Content, Adult Discussions, F/M, PR x Artist, bisexual!Linda, mature concepts, trigger for various things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-09-28 12:02:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17182619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Iris is a top PR specialist working at a firm that Cisco founded along with her and some friends. She decides to take up her most challenging client yet, Barry Allen, a 'bad boy' with a mysterious past and a rumored playboy. Can she redeem his image? Will he let her? She's never met a challenge she couldn't tackle.This prompt inspired this story:https://fallinginloveinaflash.tumblr.com/post/171013288757/iris-just-landed-her-dream-job-at-a-pr-firm-and





	1. Eddie?

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 of my story, part 1 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13936935/chapters/32081664 
> 
> Sorry for any typos or mistakes, will still edit.

**Barry** _The next morning - Friday_

As Barry got up he could vaguely remember the previous night. He remembered that he rode his motorcycle under the influence all the way to Iris’ apartment, he remembered texting her something, and he remembered her carrying him in and setting him on her couch, and that’s where his memory ends. That frightened him. What did he tell her? How much does she know? 

Groaning slightly at the headache he felt, he got up from the couch. A blanket slid off him, and he realized she must’ve put it on him sometime last night. 

He heard noises in the distance and could smell some eggs. Walking towards the sound, he found his way to her kitchen in the small apartment. He moved quietly, so she didn’t hear him walk in. 

When he saw her he stopped. 

He took the moment to just watch, as she, in sweats and an over-sized t-shirt, was making breakfast. She hummed quietly to herself, flipping an egg over and then setting it on a plate. 

He cleared his throat. 

Iris jumped at the sound and accidentally flipped the egg up higher than it should’ve gone, sending some speckles of hot oil into the air, one landing on her arm. He noticed she wasn’t wearing glasses. She looked good with or without them. 

“Shoot! Ouch! Barry, you can’t sneak up on me like that!” Iris yelled. 

Barry chuckled. 

“I didn’t sneak up on you, I just cleared my throat.”

“Stop laughing and come make your own damn breakfast then!” Iris scanned her arm. He found himself walking into her space and then she silenced as she looked up at him - wide eyed. Without a word he grabbed her arm and scanned it, blew gently on the spot and then found a paper towel, wet it with the sink and placed it on her arm. 

“This should help.” He told her, his eyes scanning hers, their breathing quickened. 

Iris withdrew her arm from him and turned away. 

“Just go wait outside.” She told him as she started to toast the bread. 

“Why? I’m not one of those guys who just lets’s you work in the kitchen and sits outside drinking a beer and eating peanuts.” He joked. 

Iris laughed at that, and he was so happy to hear it. 

“I never said you are, but I _do_ think you’re the kind who bugs the woman in the kitchen and never lets her get anything done.” Iris threw over her shoulder. 

Barry smiled. 

“Touché.”

He took a step back to give her space and leaned against one of her cabinets. 

After another moment of watching her, he spoke again, 

“Look Iris, I don’t know what I said last night, but…thank you.”

Iris turned to look at him. There was sincerity in his eyes. 

“Don’t mention it.” She replied with a genuine smile. 

There was always that pull between them. 

Barry stepped closer to her again, 

“The bread’s burning.” He whispered, and Iris jumped back into action making Barry laugh a bit. 

“You’re an ass, you know that?” She complained as she quickly removed the bread from the pan. 

He shrugged. 

“It comes with the package.” He was grinning. 

Iris rolled her eyes. 

“You better stop talking and grab me another plate.” She told him, and he did so. 

After they plated the breakfast and sat down, Iris was about to dig in, when Barry said,

“Wait. Wanna say grace?” 

“You mean like, pray?” Iris was surprised. 

“Yeah, it’s something I do when I’m about to eat something really special. Something that I might not get to have again for a long time. Marz and I used to do it all the time. We would stop and just thank the Mysterious Creator for giving us a chance to experience whatever delicious food we had.”

Iris smiled at him tenderly. 

“That’s adorable.”

“We always found that the good things we couldn’t explain about life were like little miracles. So we had to thank somebody, or some _being_.” Barry reminisced. He didn’t know why he felt so comfortable sharing all this with Iris now, but he just did. 

“Okay, let’s do it. This isn’t anything special though, but I’ll take the compliment.” Iris winked and Barry smiled. 

“I’ll go first then,” Barry said. “Dear God, thanks for everything. Thanks for allowing me to meet this strange beautiful human before me, her smile is a gift to the world. And even though I won’t be able to explain everything to her, or tell her everything, I hope she knows that I’m so glad she’s here.”

In that moment, Barry reached out and held Iris’ hand. Squeezing her hand lightly for her to go on.

** Iris **

Iris opened her eyes in that moment, but his eyes were still closed and his head bowed slightly. 

She took in a sharp breath. 

Prayers made her think of her mom. 

“Dear God, Jesus, Creator of the Universe, thanks for Barry. I lov-like that we got to meet. Amen. Oh! And I hope he listens to me and let’s me help him. I hope he understands the reality that he is not alone. And that he learns to trust people more. Amen.”

Iris then opened her eyes and stuck her tongue out at Barry who grinned at her in return. 

They ate their breakfast in silence, both avoiding eye contact for the most part. Iris mainly because Barry hadn’t let go of her hand, and she didn’t want him to. 

***

After breakfast Iris knew Barry was going to have to leave. He stayed to help her wash the dishes, and while they were cleaning up they discussed upon and agreed on a statement he would make about everything that happened with his foster home leader. Just to close that door and state that justice was served in him being charged. 

As soon as they were done he headed for the door. 

“Barry, wait.” 

Iris walked up to him. 

“Yes?” He teased, leaning in closer to her. 

“Your jacket.” She told him. 

“It’s yours now.” He smiled. 

“Thanks.” Iris replied instantly. 

Barry then stood straight and left before she could get another word in. Once he left Iris groaned in frustration, why wouldn’t he just kiss her?! 

She leaned against her door. 

***

 _Later that evening_

Iris spent the rest of her morning and afternoon putting out the statement, working on the public gallery opening for Barry and planning her dress for the CC Movie and Arts Spirit Awards (MASA). She talked with a couple of designers and sent over some sketches and online pictures, before one designer sent her back a dress that she knew was absolutely perfect. The golden dress would hold her frame perfectly and make her look like a queen from a faraway galaxy. She instantly booked the dress. 

After doing so, she wondered if she should’ve bothered, Barry wasn’t budging, she doubted a dress was going to change his mind. For a while she thought that she was in control, but now it feels very much like he’s in control and she’s just trying to keep up. 

After getting all of her work done, she decided to try to go back into her digging. She searched a little more into the different jobs that Sylvia had, and found it strange that there was a gap for years in her jobs. Where did she work all those years? She had to find a way to talk to Sylvia. 

To distract herself from her roadblock she turned on her TV to the Entertainment channel knowing that they might discuss the CC MASA’s happening on Sunday evening. She was excited to see someone was interviewing Marz who was at a pre-event. There was a woman standing beside him, holding his hand, who was she? She looked familiar. Iris turned her volume up. 

“So, to what do we owe the honor of this lovely lady beside you, Marz?” The interviewer asked. 

Marz and the woman shared a sweet glance at each other. 

“She’s my lady. She’ll be my date on Sunday night. Meet Maria Pavlov. My beautiful queen.” The woman beside him gave a striking smile to the camera. Iris instantly fully recognized who she was. She quickly grabbed her laptop and searched for Sylvia and compared the picture she had with the woman beside Marz. 

“I got you!” Iris exclaimed. 

She’d just have to speak to this Maria…or rather, _Sylvia_ on the night of the event. 

***

 **Barry** _Sunday evening - The night of the CC MASA’s, a couple hours before arrival_

“For the last time, I know you never asked me to do this, I know the risks, and I want to help. So please shut ya mouth and leave me alone.” Marz told Barry as he fixed Barry’s bow-tie and then let Barry fix his. The two of them cleaned up well. It was finally agreed with them, since Sylvia and Marz had a thing going on, it would be more believable and make more sense for the two of them to go to the CC MASA’s together as an official couple. 

It also finally took away any rumors that Barry and ‘Maria’ had anything going on. 

Barry sighed and shook his head at his best friend but then proceeded to give him a pat on the back. 

“Let’s do this then.”

The two of them walked out of Barry’s room and to the living room where Sylvia was waiting rather impatiently. 

“You guys took longer than me, and I had to get this huge dress on me with no extra help and do my own makeup, what the actual heck!?” She then went over to Marz and subconsciously fixed nothing on his suite while Marz grinned away. 

Barry left the two of them in their world and checked his phone for any messages from Iris. After the long and much-needed pep-talk with Marz, Barry needed to talk to Iris - he invited her to come with him to the event as his publicist, but with what they were planning to do, he didn’t actually want Iris anywhere near them. He would feel solely responsible if anything happened to her. She hadn’t sent him anything so he messaged her,

 **B: See you at the event, right?** He asked. 

He waited anxiously for her reply. Eventually, it said she was typing, 

**I: Remember you have to be there twenty minutes early so we can debrief about interviews, I believe I convinced you to do one?**

Barry smiled, his bargaining chip, 

**B: I’ll do the interview if you’ll leave me alone for the rest of the night.** He sent. He knew she wasn’t going to like that. 

A pause. 

**I: I will not _leave early_ , I have the right to be there!** She sent back. 

Barry sighed. 

**B: You don’t have to leave then. Just don’t come find me and don’t come near me.**

**I: You do realize how suspicious you sound right?** Iris messaged him. He read that three times and agreed with her. 

**B: I don’t want you to get hurt.**

There was a moment where Iris did not reply. Then she started typing again, 

**I: I am going to need more information than that.**

**B: Please just don’t stay close to me and I’ll tell you why after the night. Afterwards.**

**I: Okay.** She texted back and Barry felt like he could breathe. 

“Alright boys, are you ready to go?” Sylvia asked the two of them as Barry rejoined the group of three. 

“Viens, prendre une photo!” Reina asked appearing before them. Reina had already been shortly introduced to Sylvia. 

“So she really only speaks in French or?” Sylvia remarked. 

“No, she can speak English but she thinks in French, so it sometimes spills out.” Reina replied sternly. Sylvia looked away embarrassed. 

“Alright, alright, let’s take the photo!” Marz said trying to lighten the mood. 

Barry laughed, this wasn’t prom they were going to. He checked the inner pockets of his tuxedo to ensure his all his gadgets were in place and then placed his arms around Marz. Marz placed his arms around Barry and Sylvia. 

“Serious picture.” Reina said. None of them smiled as she snapped a picture on a Polaroid camera, and then whipped her smartphone and took a picture of them on that too. 

Then Barry’s phone buzzed and he saw it was Oliver with the limousine. 

“Our ride’s here.” Barry stated. 

“Thanks Reina.” Barry said then he gave Reina goodbye cheek kisses. Marz did the same. Sylvia gave the older woman a polite wave. 

The three of them walked out, Barry and Marz wearing expensive tux’s and Sylvia in a shiny white dress with black straps and elements. Oliver watched them all as he had stepped out of the limo. 

“Ya’ll look like a team.” 

“We ready to do some damage.” Marz said. Sylvia gave him a playful hit. 

“We’re not doing _shit_. We’re going there to get information. The only way something bad’s going to happen, is if we act foolish.”

She stared at all the men, Oliver was already filled in on their plan.

“None of you should be acting foolish. We go as celebrities, we treat this like any other award show. We smile, take pictures, act normal. I point out the T.I. people I know and one of you - only _one_ goes to make the fake deal. I don’t want this getting out of hand because I don’t care about ya’ll but I don’t want _my_ cover blown.” She stressed the final point. 

“Everyone got it?” She asked. 

They all nodded. 

***

 _After the red carpet before everyone got seated_

Barry got his pictures taken first. He then went off to the side to wait for Iris. She told him she’d be a little late, something about her make-up getting done. He waited for her over in a corner watching other celebrities come through the red carpet and get their pictures taken. He kept his eyes peeled for anything suspicious. After a few movie stars went it was Marz’s turn for the pictures. He took a couple of solo pics and then Sylvia took a few with him. 

Barry looked at his watch. 

_Where are you Iris?_ He thought. A moment later though, he saw her. 

He watched her every movement, his eyes trailed her every step. 

She walked towards him swaying in a golden dress with a slit on the side and she looked like how summer felt. Sunshine. Sunflowers. Sunrise. Sunset. The golden dress sat swimmingly on her figure, shinning and glittering all over her. Her strapped golden high-heels added to the overall look and she walked with a confidence that had Barry’s heart beating at a strange rate. She wasn’t wearing glasses and her hair was up in a careful bun. Her make up had gold undertones and her face glowed even though it was evening. 

Barry took a couple of steadying breaths as she strutted towards him. 

“Hey.” She said when she arrived before him. 

He was speechless. He just kept looking at her, he didn’t know what to say. 

“Barry?” 

He watched her lips. She wore a lip gloss or something that made them look even more inviting. 

“Barry?! Barry,” she laughed. “Barry, hey!” She shook his arms. 

He blinked again and then let out a small smile. 

“Hey.” He finally replied. 

Iris laughed. 

“What happened?”

“Nothing, I’m good. You - you look…” Which compliment would do her justice? 

He looked her over again. Iris grinned. 

“Thanks,” She replied. “Okay, so we need to go through what you’re going to do.”

***

 _After the red carpet and everyone took their seats (imagine the seating like the golden globes)_

Barry scanned the room next to Iris, who he had seated at his table for convenience and to help him to not have to talk to other celebrities he barely even knew. But he was worried now because she would know when he had to leave to talk to the T.I. agent that Sylvia discretely pointed out to him by ‘accidentally’ bumping into the person, intentionally. 

And the time was now. He noticed that the agent left their post, probably to use the bathroom as most of them were acting as security for the event. 

Barry stood up abruptly. 

Iris looked at him like he was crazy. 

“What are you doing?” She whispered loudly enough for him to hear. 

“I have to use the bathroom.” He said simply. 

“Barry, you can’t just stand up like that though, we’re literally starting in five minutes. The cameras are already live.” 

“I’ve gotta go, will be right back.”

“Hurry back!” Iris whispered after him as Barry left the table. 

Marz, who was also at the table decided to make small talk with Iris which Barry was happy about. 

As soon as he left the camera infested part of the building, he passed a few security guards and walked down the halls towards the bathrooms. 

Just as he was about to walk into the bathroom, the man he was looking for stepped out of it. 

Barry walked up to him.

“Sir, the show is starting.” The man said politely, gave Barry a nod and was about to walk past him, but then Barry smiled at him. 

“Nido di uccello.” Barry spoke in near perfect Italian. 

The man’s features instantly changed from kind and nonchalant to sober and curious. 

“Quanto?” He replied as if testing Barry to know how much he knew. 

“Venti.” Barry answered. 

The man laughed loudly. 

“Cento o niente.”

“Niente, then.” 

The man laughed again. 

“Barry!” 

Iris’ voice calling Barry’s name was like a siren call for the man. He straightened up and ran off and Barry sighed, he’d have to continue the conversation later. 

“Barry what on earth?! They’ve started!”

“Sorry.” Barry muttered as he followed Iris back into the main area. 

***

 **Third pov** _After the award ceremonies_

As everyone was leaving for the after party Barry told Iris he would be late to join her because he needed to talk to someone.

“Is it that bodyguard you were speaking Italian to?” Iris asked him. 

“Iris, please, just let me go.”

“Barry, I want to know what’s going on. You said you trust me.”

“This is beyond trust.” Barry solemnly said. 

He could see the hurt in her eyes and it made him feel horrible, he tried to reach out and touch her face but she pulled back. 

“I quit.”

The words were soft and gentle a defeat, a surrender and Barry felt his heart burst into a million different pieces. He couldn’t think or move as Iris then walked past him, brushing against his shoulder. 

As Iris was walking away she felt tears well up in her eyes at the possibility of never working with Barry again, never seeing Barry again. Why did she do that? Why did she let go? 

Earlier that evening she tried to get information out of Sylvia. Marz was always interrupting their conversation though to say something, which would then have him and Sylvia making out or giggling at each other. It was kind of exhausting and told Iris that Marz probably knew something. There was no way that he was absolutely clueless about whatever was going on with Barry and this Sylvia person that the world knew as Maria. But overall the night was a bust for her. She didn’t find out anything of significance about Sylvia, except that she and Marz definitely had something going on, for real, and that she wore a very interesting necklace around her neck. 

However, as Iris was wiping her fresh falling tears, keeping her head down and walking insanely fast she accidentally tripped and fell, she could hear the inevitable rip of her dress and she hid her scream in the crook her arm as she landed on the floor. Before she knew what was happening she felt strong arms help her up and take her to a spare room somewhere in the vicinity. 

She kept her eyes closed for a while, scared to open them and see who rescued her from the utmost humiliation.

“Iris, are you alright?” 

The voice was unmistakable. 

Iris looked at the concerned face before her in shock. She hadn’t seen him since he left the company. 

“Eddie?” Iris whispered. 

A mixture of emotions flooded through her. She and him, they were a thing at one time. They shared a bed, they shared thoughts of a future, he even hinted at marriage. Her father approved of Eddie. He was a simple, decent, kind person who tried to be the best citizen he could be. 

At least that’s what he portrayed.

Iris knew that Eddie had a complicated relationship with his parents, whom he told her abandoned him as a baby. He was adopted by a kind family and took their last name. He doesn’t care to figure out who his real parents are but this left him with abandonment issues, with trust issues, and with controlling issues. 

When they were together, it was all great at first but then he started to get controlling, manipulative, he would lie to Iris about things just to get his way. He was still sweet Eddie who wouldn’t hurt a fly, except that he was excellent at finding ways to control Iris’ daily steps while he maintained that persona. They broke up a couple years back when Iris found out that he lied to Linda about her not wanting to go to her friends birthday party because it would be in a dangerous part of the city - when in actuality she was excited about it and wanted to go. He thought it was dangerous, but she didn’t. 

Eventually, it sparked and revealed a lot of other lies Eddie had been telling others about Iris or telling to Iris. It made Iris realize that Eddie was the one who convinced her to stop wearing certain clothes or to eat a certain way and she even realized that he somehow convinced her not talk to other men. He encouraged her to “put work first” in her life apart from him. He was carefully crafting her into who _he_ wanted her to be. 

That was the immediate end of their relationship. 

Eddie didn’t take it well and tried many times to win Iris back, but she knew that he had done too much damage to her, and he had a way with her that she hated. She couldn’t trust him. She couldn’t trust him at all. 

And now he stood before her, his blue eyes looking concerned as ever. His feelings still as strong as ever as he carefully looks her up and down. 

“Iris, you look beautiful tonight.”

Iris sighed shakily. It’s been too long of a night for this. 

“Eddie, wow. It’s been a while. How- how are you? Why didn’t you ever come around and say hi to us after leaving?”

Eddie hung his head for a moment, seeming disappointed in himself. 

“I wanted to, but I couldn’t. I kind of took it as a chance to run away from everything, from you. To try to heal.”

Iris gave a short lifeless laugh. 

“Heal? You make it sound like I cut you.”

“Didn’t you? After all those times I asked you to give me a second chance?”

“Eddie, I don’t want to talk about that. You are the one who left the company though. You are the one who left, no one forced you to go. Our past relationship has nothing to do with your career choices.”

“I failed at cleaning up Barry’s image. So, I had no right to be at the best PR company in Central City. I failed at our relationship so I didn’t deserve to be near you.”

Eddie took a few steps closer to Iris. 

“But I still have feelings for you, Iris. I can’t seem to stop thinking of you.”

Iris sighed. 

“Eddie, please. It’s been a long night.”

“Right, you’re working with _him_ now.” 

“Yeah, his name is Barry Allen. I am happily working with him.” Iris faked a smile. 

“Really?” Eddie asked. 

Iris nodded, pulling her smile wider. 

Eddie shook his head. 

“You know I know when you’re lying right? Bullshit. He’s been hurting you.”

Iris swallowed nervously. Eddie was slowly walking in circles around her. 

“Why did you run like that out there? I was watching you two the whole night. Something is wrong. Why did Barry stand up at the start so abruptly and then leave?” 

“He needed to use the bathroom.”

“Answer my first question.” 

“I don’t have to.” Iris said sternly. 

“What are you going to do about the rip?” Eddie was about to place his hand where the fabric tore but Iris slapped his hand away. 

She glared at him.

“Touch me and I’ll get you arrested.”

Eddie nodded in understanding. 

“Sorry.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. 

“Eddie, thank you for helping me to get up, but what on earth is all this? All you had to do is help me up. Why is there an interrogation going on and why the fuck are you questioning how things are going with me and Barry? He’s a client. I do my job very well, you know that. I am a workaholic, you made me that. So, let me do my job. I heard you’re working with Amelia Martin now? Enjoy doing that.”

He said nothing, watching her curiously. 

Iris continued, 

“So if you’ll please move out of my way, I’d like to find my client.”

Eddie stepped out of her way. Iris walked to the door and was about to open it when she remembered that she had just told Barry she quit. She cursed under her breath and turned back around to him. 

“Um,” she knew she was risking it, but she didn’t know what else to do at this moment. Especially because she had to figure out how not to get into debt with her clothing rip. 

“Could you give me a ride home and lend me your coat to hide the rip?”

Eddie smiled. 

***

 **Barry** _After the award ceremonies_

He watched on numbly as she walked away from him until he saw Iris drop to the floor and then he instantly sprung into action. Walking quickly past people he was ready to reach her when a blonde haired man he vaguely remembered went and helped Iris up instead and dragged her off somewhere. He instantly started to follow them when Sylvia interrupted his trailing. 

“Barry wait.” She grabbed hold of him. 

“Sylvia, what the hell!? Move. I need to find Iris.”

“Barry, you have your final chance now.”

He looked into her eyes and saw the desperation in them. He promised he would help her, even though she laughed at his promise, he would keep his word. And then there was his mission. What he promised to his parents, to Reina, to everyone he’s loved. T.I. has to be stopped. 

Barry sighed. 

“Can you check on Iris? Make sure she’s alright, she left with some blonde guy.”

Sylvia nodded. 

“I’ll find her and make sure she’s safe.”

“Thank you.” Barry said. 

He then went to find the man he had seen earlier. Barry found him quickly, he was just having a smoke outside, hidden against the shadows of the back of the building. 

“How do you know about Bird’s nest?” The man spoke first, and in English, letting Barry know that he passed the test. 

“I like to know about things I’m not supposed to know about.”

“Barry we know you. We know who you are.”

Barry knew instantly that that wasn’t a good thing. They weren’t supposed to know him. 

“You sure you wanna buy from the company who killed your parents?” 

Barry’s eyes flared as he stared at the man. His fists balled up tight till his knuckles were bone white. 

“What - what did you say?” Barry’s voice was menacing. 

The man dragged on his smoke and blew it in Barry’s face. 

“I’m being honest, kid. We know you. We know your parents. We know why they had to die-”

Barry had the man pinned to the wall behind him a second later, his arm on the man’s jugular as he struggled to breathe. 

“Ba-r-y, st-op-it-f-u-”

The man squeaked out as he fought against Barry’s arm. 

“l-e-tme-go!” He struggled. 

“Give me a way in.”

“I-ca-n’t, n-oonaaggghhh!!” 

“Barry, what the fuck! You’ll kill him.” Marz’s voice of reason pierced through Barry and Barry let the man go. The man started coughing terribly and spit out some blood. 

“What’s your name, man?” Marz asked. 

“Agent Five.” His voice was hoarse and grated. 

“They give you guys number names? What kind of bull? What’s your actual name?”

“Karp.” The man said still coughing occasionally. Barry held a hard glare towards him. 

“Okay, Karp. You need to tell us what the fuck we need to know before my friend kills your ass for talking about his parents.”

“You don’t understand. Everyone knows who Barry is. And he met Sylvia. It’s not looking good for you guys. There’s no way in unless you have someone in there for you.”

Marz and Barry looked at each other. 

“You mean, unless we have a spy in there looking out for us, allowing us to have a chance to break in? Rallying discontent agents to stop following orders?” Marz asked. 

“Exactly.” Karp replied. 

Marz laughed. 

“My man!” He said and held out his hand for a hand-shake from Karp. 

Karp looked at Marz like he was crazy. 

“I can’t do that for you guys. I - I can’t. I’ve got a family.”

“Nobody but the leaders of T.I. will get hurt if things go to plan.” Barry finally spoke. 

“You can’t guarantee that,” Karp shook his head, “I can’t do it.” 

“Okay, then find us somebody who can. Let them call us with this phone.” Barry showed Karp the phone. 

“We need a way in, Karp. I’m with you. T.I. has great potential, I just want to make it more. I want to take the shitty parts of T.I. and eliminate it, and make it better.” Barry lied honestly. He wanted to take the shitty parts out, and then destroy it all for good. Free people like Karp and help them somehow. But he also needed Karp to believe he wasn’t a total enemy to the ‘cause’. People are sometimes blind to terrible things if it’s what has been their livelihood. If it’s what has kept their family alive. He didn’t want Karp to have a reason to betray him. They needed an inside person. 

The hope in Karp’s eyes made Barry put a hand on the man’s shoulder. 

“Sorry I hurt you earlier. I just want to help you. I want to help all of you. But I don’t take lightly to people talking about my parents death.” Barry admitted. 

“I understand…sir.” 

There was a mutual understanding between the two in that moment. Barry nodded, Karp nodded. 

Marz nodded and the three men chuckled for a moment. 

Karp took the phone from Barry. 

“If I can’t help you, I’ll find someone who will.” 

“Thank you, Karp.” Barry said sincerely. 

“Good luck,” Karp replied. “You’re gonna need it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's updated!! xD Lemme know what you think!


	2. Exes and Foes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very long, very deep chapter. There are mature concepts and actions in this chapter. 
> 
> Also, if you want to know what some of my original characters all look like: https://app.milanote.com/1GD9wq1c2IqJ8M this is a mood board type thing I created for ya'll to see. 
> 
> Will be editing after posting just in case you see some changes.

**Barry** _A year and a couple months ago_

Barry patted Leo in good spirits, happy that he finally finished another painting. These would be new works he’d get printed and put up on his website. He was doing quite well for himself and he was proud of it. He settled on his couch with a glass of bourbon on his coffee table and Leo by his side. A peaceful evening it was. Rain fell softly outside. Then suddenly as if calling an ominous visitor lightning flashed by the windows followed by a loud roaring of thunder. The rain increased from a gentle drizzle to a heavy downpour and his phone rang. 

He grabbed his phone and saw it was Cisco calling him. What on earth? He and Cisco hadn’t spoken in ages. He answered though. 

“Yeah?” 

“Hey, I’ve got you a PR specialist.”

“A what now?”

“I’ve been hearing all over the news that you can never seem to hold down a PR assistant. So I’ve got you a specialist. He’s been doing very well with most of our clients.”

“I hate PR representatives, all they do is ask me questions and pry about my life.”

“They do that so you stay in a good light and make more money.”

“I never stay in a good light regardless, thanks Cisco, but I’m good -”

“Just try it out! Barry. We haven’t spoken in a long time and the first thing I wanna do is to help you, you gotta let me try.”

Barry sighed and rubbed his forehead as he thought about it, he could do this for Cisco. He constantly felt like he could never thank Cisco and his family enough for raising him during those high school years. They were crazy years for Barry and unstable years, yet some of the best years of his life. 

“Fine. When do I meet this person?” Barry muttered. 

“Now. He should be at your gate soon. You gotta let him in. I remember you said you have some state of the art technology installed?”

“Yeah, no one gets in the house without my permission.”

“Ah, well he should be at your gate soon and it’s raining so go easy on him, will ya?”

“I’ll try.” Barry replied taking a sip of his drink. 

After he got off the phone with Cisco another call came in. 

Amelia Martin. Barry sighed and answered the call.

“Sup?” He asked. 

“You’re such a dick. How could you leave me at the party last night?”

“I asked you if you wanted a ride home, you told me you wouldn’t be caught dead on my motorcycle. That’s the only thing I had to take you home.” 

“You could’ve called me a cab! You just took off after that.”

“Amelia, you had me go to that pointless party so that your friends could know you slept with me, and then paraded me around like some kind of prize you won. I think I had the right to take off.”

“I didn’t parade you around, you were my _date_!”

“I told you before, I told you that night and I’ll tell you one more time, _I don’t date_ , Amelia.”

“Right, you just fu-”

Beeping from Barry’s phone interrupted Amelia’s obscenity.

“Goodnight, I have a guest at my gate.”

“Barry, this conversation isn’t over!”

“Yes it is.” Barry said and then dropped the call. 

He saw that someone was indeed at his gate and opened it for the person. Soon he heard his front doorbell ring. Most people just knocked, but okay. He opened his front door through his phone as well. 

“Come on in!” He yelled. 

“Are you sure? I can’t seem to open the door though, it closed on me again.” The person called back. 

Barry sighed. He needed to get the door command fixed on his phone, it was malfunctioning again. 

He reluctantly walked up to the door, Leo following behind him with a wagging tail and opened it to see a somewhat short blonde haired man with a suit and tie - which was soaked due to the rain - standing before him. The man gave him a huge smile and extended his hand,

“Hello, I’m Eddie Peters.” He said cheerfully despite the dreary evening. 

Barry forced a half-smile on his face. 

Eddie Peters? What kind of name was that. Those names didn’t go well together. From the very first moment he saw the man’s smile, Barry felt something was off with Eddie Peters. 

“Hey, I’m Barry Allen.” 

The two men shook hands. 

Barry welcomed him inside. 

Eddie stepped in happily, but then jumped back at the sight of Leo. 

“Oh, don’t mind him, that's Leo, my rescue dog. Adopted him a couple months ago.” Barry stated. 

Leo was growling a bit at Eddie. Eddie smiled nervously.

“I-I don’t really like dogs all that much.” He said. 

“Alright, that’s different. I don't care, some people like cats more. I couldn’t have a cat though, if they destroyed my work, I’d probably have to kick it out. Whereas over the past few months I’ve managed to train Leo to stay away from my artwork. It’s amazing how quickly dogs pick things up.” 

Barry found himself attempting to make small-talk with this stranger. It was very awkward. 

Eddie followed Barry to his living room area and then Barry sat himself back down and stretched his legs over his coffee table, Leo went off to find his dog bed and relax there. 

Eddie stood around awkwardly, looking over Barry’s living room in both amazement and what could only be described as envy. 

“You have, quite the place.” Eddie said. 

Barry laughed. 

“Thank you?” He replied.

“And your artwork is just, stunning.” Eddie walked up to one of his recently completed pieces.

“Thank you, but don’t touch it.”

“What happens if I touched it accidentally?”

“Oh, I dunno, do you have a million dollars to spare?”

Eddie looked at Barry incredulously at the amount. 

Barry chuckled. 

“My work is one of the single most important things to me. That’s an original, you would pay double any printed amount.”

“Right,” Eddie nodded. “Okay so we should probably go over the contract and -”

“Nah, this is a trial, no contract needed.”

Eddie looked confused.

“I thought Cisco told you -” 

“He did. But I don't like to sign without seeing the benefits. Let's give it a week or two, if you can improve my image a bit by then, we're good.” 

Eddie nodded. 

“So, the latest thing I’ve heard is that you trespassed on the former property of Bakersfield Industries. Do you have a reason for doing that?” Eddie brought out his pen and notebook like he was a reporter. 

Barry laughed. 

“I didn't even graffiti the place, was just checking it out and it made headlines? It's an abandoned warehouse now. I wanted to scope it out.” 

Eddie nodded writing stuff down. 

“You couldn't go in the daytime?”

“I was trying to stay out of the press, but I underestimated how much money I bring to celebrity magazines and online media companies and therefore the lengths they'd go to track my every movement.” 

“So, you went to scope it out, but why? Just to check it out randomly or are you looking to buy?” 

Barry didn't reply, but instead sent Eddie a look. 

“Okay, I get it, there are things you want to keep to yourself. No problem. Let me know what you can let me know and I will work with that.” Eddie said. 

Barry nodded. 

“Good.” 

***

 **Iris** _Present day - After the award show_

Iris walked with careful steps as she tried to escape the camera's so they wouldn't catch her in Eddie's coat. Eddie tried to shield Iris and she was about to reach his car when Sylvia appeared behind Iris and tapped her. 

“Iris, you forgot this.” 

Sylvia brought forth Iris’ clutch bag that she must've dropped when she fell down.

“Oh, thank you, Maria.” Iris said, a little shocked she caught up with them so quickly. 

Eddie noticed that Sylvia, who he knows as Maria, was scrutinizing him and quickly extended his hand towards her with a grin. 

“Hi, I don't think we've met. I am Eddie Peters, you must be Maria Pavlov the fantastic piano player.” 

For a moment, just a slight moment that Iris managed to catch, Sylvia looked shocked. It's like she's heard Eddie's name before. Like she knows him somehow. Iris noted that. Sylvia masked her shock quickly though and smiled warmly at Eddie. 

“Eddie. Good to meet you. Please, just call me Maria.” She offered. After shaking his hand she continued on, looking back and forth between the both of them. 

“Excuse me if I am overstepping, but may I ask how you two know each other?” 

Iris felt embarrassed at the question and ever being associated with Eddie at this point, but Eddie beamed at the opportunity. 

“I'm her ex. And I used to work at Starlex management and PR services where Iris currently works.” 

Understanding dawned on Sylvia's face and she nodded. 

“Ahh, I see. Wonderful.” She smiled kindly at them. Then she stared at the coat Iris was wearing and went on, 

“Are you two _reuniting_ for the night?” She asked and Eddie grinned wider as he got a bit red. 

“No, no, no, when she fell she had an accident. Ripped the dress.” Eddie whispered the last bit like he had private access to Iris’ life. In fact, him speaking for her and telling Sylvia what happened instead of letting Iris do so was something that drove Iris mad about Eddie. She hated it. 

“Yeah, that's not happening ever. Our reuniting days are over.” Iris added and was pleased to see the grin on Eddie's face falter when she said it. 

“Oh, your dress ripped?” Sylvia turned to Iris now. Focusing on her. Yet Eddie replied, 

“It was a bad rip too, I don't know what she's going to do. Kind of wish I had gotten there sooner.”

“Well, you didn't,” Iris replied sharply. “Yeah, it is a bad rip though, I don't know what I'm going to do. This dress costs a fortune and I'm renting it tonight for a lot already. They'll take away my deposit for the dress and if it's not usable I'll have to buy the whole thing.” Iris said, concerned. 

Sylvia stood in front of Iris and opened the coat discreetly to glance at the rip. 

“Oh thank God, it’s an easy fix.” Sylvia breathed out after she got a look. 

Iris raised her eyebrows. 

“You mean, _you_ can fix this?!” Iris asked. 

Sylvia smiled and nodded. 

“What?! Okay, when? How?”

“Eddie?” Sylvia brought Eddie back into the conversation. 

“Yeah?”

“Would you kindly drive me as well to Iris’ apartment but before then stop over at a fabric and art store or a tailor so I can buy materials?” 

“Sure!” Eddie said happily. 

“Do you have a sewing machine?” Sylvia asked Iris. 

“She doesn't. I tried to get her one but she refused me saying it wasn't needed.” Eddie interjected. 

Iris glared at him. 

“That was over two years ago, how do you know I haven't gotten one since?” 

Sylvia sighed, 

“Do you have one or not? I can fix it by hand but that would take much longer.” 

Iris frowned. 

“I don't have one.” She admitted. 

“I do. I kept the one I got her.” 

“Oh so you know how to sew too, then?” Sylvia asked him. 

Eddie went red with embarrassment. 

“No, I haven't had the time to learn.”

“Hmm,” Sylvia replied. “But you thought she would? When you two have the same profession? Fascinating. Anyways, perfect, we will need to borrow the sewing machine from your place as well. All good?”

Both Eddie and Iris nodded. 

Then the three of them got in Eddie's car. Iris was glad for the chance to know more about Sylvia but she was upset she had to deal with Eddie for the night as well. 

***

Eddie must've sensed Iris’ weariness of him because he was almost pleasant to have around. 

He made the jokes that only Eddie could get by making and kept the women entertained with stories of his adopted mother making him Halloween costumes and his sisters always adding something “special” at the last minute to embarrass him. 

He was sharing funny, light-hearted stuff. He also waited for Iris and Sylvia when they took thirty minutes to get supplies from the fabric store and then made sure to pick up his sewing machine and brought it up to Iris’ place for them. 

But, despite all that after Iris offered him a glass of water and he accepted it, instead of leaving, he tried to get comfortable and stay. Iris wanted desperately to kick him out and Sylvia came to Iris’ rescue as if reading her mind. 

“Eddie, thanks so much for helping us out, but I got it from here.”

Eddie was surprised as he had just taken a seat on Iris’ couch and turned on her T.V. 

“Oh? I thought I’d wait here till you were done…to - uh - to grab my sewing machine back.”

Sylvia smirked at him. 

“Yeah, but this might take all night. And actually, I would love if you wouldn’t mind giving me the sewing machine? You mentioned several times you don’t actually need it. Iris isn’t going to be able to use it, but I can.” 

Eddie didn’t know what to say. He opened his mouth, closed it and then opened it again,

“Uh, alright then. Are you sure you want it?”

“Most certainly.” Sylvia said with a nod. 

Eddie grinned widely,

“Then you’ll have it.”

“Thank you. I think you can get going now then, it’s getting pretty late.”

Eddie stood up from the couch slowly with a slight frown on his face. 

“Are you sure, I could keep you both company?” He offered, looking in Iris’ direction. 

Iris offered him a polite smile, 

“We’re good, thank you Eddie. Really, thanks for everything tonight.” Iris admittedly did truly feel grateful for his help. 

Eddie smiled happily at that. 

“I’m glad to help. Call me if you need anything, and I mean _anything_.” He told Iris with deep concern. 

“I will, Eddie.” Iris replied. 

After a moment of staring at Iris and Sylvia as if hoping one of them would change their mind, he finally headed to the door. 

“Iris be careful with Barry, I’m sure there’s a lot he hasn’t told you.” 

“I’ll be fine, that’s none of your concern.” Iris replied. 

“Call me also if you ever want to talk, or grab coffee, or -”

“Anything, I know Eddie. I will. Here’s your coat.” Iris interrupted handing him the coat he borrowed her, she was getting impatient. 

“Alright, bye.” 

Iris helped him open the door since he didn’t even grab for the door knob, and after he exited her home she smiled at him before closing the door and told him a kind but curt “Bye!” in reply. 

***

Iris and Sylvia were in sleepover mode. 

Sylvia brought the sewing machine to the living room and used a nearby plug to make sure it was on, placed it on the coffee table. Sylvia was giving Iris instructions and Iris was helping her out while Sylvia had the fabric under the machine. Iris had changed into more comfortable clothes and borrowed Sylvia clothes for the night as well. 

“So, tell me, how did you manage _that_?” Sylvia asked, a ruler in her mouth as she readjusted the dress under the sewing machine. Iris held another part of the dress in a bundle. They both were sitting on pillows on Iris’ floor. 

Iris laughed. 

“What, you mean Eddie?” 

Sylvia nodded. 

Iris laughed again, this time more in embarrassment. 

“I don’t know. He was kind, good looking, simple. I liked that at the time. So I managed.”

Sylvia nodded, sewing a couple more centimeters carefully. 

“He does seem like a nice person. He’s very attentive to people’s needs. That’s sweet. But…” Sylvia turned to Iris to finish that. 

“But, he’s controlling.” Iris admitted. 

“Yeah, listen. I’ve dated a lot of different kinds of men in my life and he seems like the type I’d run from.”

“Yep. I ran from him alright.”

“Good,” Sylvia said. “Move over more of the dress please.”

“No problem. And thanks Sylvia, for all your help tonight, I wouldn’t have-”

“Did you just call me Sylvia?!” Sylvia stood up abruptly, shock on her face. 

Iris covered her mouth. 

“Shit, sorry!”

“Sorry?! You’re not supposed to know that name. How did you find that out?!” 

Suddenly Iris felt afraid of Sylvia, the woman dragged Iris’ arm to make her stand up, and her grip was tight. 

“How did you find out my name?” Sylvia asked in a calm but serious tone, in her eyes was a mixture of anger, fear and curiosity. 

Iris was so surprised by the strength and reaction from Sylvia she didn’t know what to say. 

“Answer me! Did Barry tell you?! I’ll kill him.”

With that Iris snapped, 

“Kill him?! Who the hell _are_ you?! I found out by myself!”

Sylvia instantly calmed down. 

“You found out by yourself?”

Iris nodded. 

“How? Show me.”

Iris glared at the grip Sylvia still had on her arm and then back at Sylvia. Sylvia rolled her eyes and let go of Iris. 

“I hope you know my father is a cop.” Iris stated. 

“Iris, just show me how you know my real name. I wouldn’t actually kill him, relax, it’s a figure of speech.”

Iris stared at Sylvia now suddenly worried about leaving her alone with her things. But she had to go to her room to get her laptop.

“If you try anything –”

“Fucking get me the proof!” Sylvia yelled and Iris hurried to the other room. 

She quickly grabbed her laptop and opened her wardrobe and opened the hidden compartment there to look at her mothers things one last time. She hoped nothing escalated. 

When she got back, Sylvia was still fixing the dress. 

“I googled you. You did a good job hiding things, but there are inconsistencies. You should fix those. I just figured it out because nothing added up about Maria Pavlov. And I noticed there’s another girl out there called Sylvia who looks just like you. Want a tip on disappearing? Don’t leave your real name out there on the webs. Someone like me will find it and figure you out.” 

Sylvia looked at Iris with a new found respect. Iris showed her the proof of her searches and the history of how she found out about Sylvia’s name. 

Sylvia took a deep breath. 

“How much do you know about Barry?”

Iris looked worried,

“Not enough.”

“I can tell you care about him. How much do you know?”

“I know his parents died mysteriously. I know he was a delinquent as a kid but for good reasons? I know - wait, why am I telling you what I know?”

“Because I know more. And I know you wouldn’t be able to handle what I know. Iris, you want to dig, fine, dig, but you’re going to lose Barry in the process. I don’t care that you know my name, especially because you’ve helped me to know how to hide it better but don’t go digging for more. You’re a smart woman Iris and I’m fascinated by you, but once you get into the world I’m a part of, the world Barry’s a part of - you can’t turn back. You can’t run away.”

“I can’t seem to turn away now though. I want to help him.”

“Look, I’m gonna be blunt. You can’t help him.”

Iris felt tears well up and her voice quivered as she replied, 

“I can’t even try?”

“No. My mother used to say something important, she would tell me, if you can’t help someone you really want to help on your own, just love them. Just be there for him Iris. Maybe he’ll eventually let you in. But if you keeping trying to dig for stuff on your own, you’ll lose him.”

Iris nodded. 

“He’s stubborn but I will tell you, I watched when you walked away from Barry, he didn’t know what to do with himself. Barry hardly ever looks vulnerable. But he does around you. I think that scares him.”

“I found out who you were through google search. I could find out so much more if you guys will let me in on what’s going on.”

“Then what?”

“Huh?” Iris asked. 

“You find out something for us, then what?”

“Then you go find that person or thing, and move on to the next thing.”

Sylvia chuckled lifelessly and then sighed. 

“Iris, with one wrong move. With the wrong attention, everything could end. All our work. All our efforts. And then do you know what would happen?”

“What?”

“I can’t even tell you. I probably wouldn’t be alive to know.”

Iris shrunk back at that. The stakes were high. 

“Barry has good reason in not wanting you to be involved, trust me. It’s not that you _can’t_ help. It’s that you _shouldn’t_. It’s not your fight.”

Sylvia placed her hand on Iris’ shoulders. 

“Iris West, please stay out of this. Stay out of my life. The less you know the better. I want to trust you, I really do. Can I trust you?”

Iris nodded.

“Thank you,” Sylvia said. “You can call me Sylvia in private.”

Iris nodded again. 

“Shall we continue?” Sylvia asked getting back to the sewing. 

Iris still didn’t say anything, but she continued handing Sylvia the fabric of the dress when asked. 

***

The dress was almost completed and it was 2 am, Iris and Sylvia hadn’t spoken a word since Iris accidentally spoke out Sylvia’s name and the heated discussion that followed. 

Iris decided to try to break the ice she created. 

“What about Marz?” 

“What about him?” Sylvia asked nonchalant. 

“Is he in on everything? Does he know what’s going on? Are you two really a couple?”

Sylvia sighed. 

“Iris,” She glanced at Iris’ face and then decided to answer, “fine. I’ll tell you a bit about Martin.”

Iris smiled a little. 

“Is that his real name?”

“Wow, so he has his name hidden better than I do?!” Sylvia shook her head causing Iris to laugh. 

“To be fair I didn’t bother searching too much about him.” 

“Okay. Anyways, Martin is, he’s a good lover. Really good. Like he has me screa-”

“No, so I meant like about him knowing stuff?” Iris interrupted not really needing or wanting to know about their sex life. 

“Yeah, but you also asked me if we were really together. We are. I don’t like the term ‘couple’ but yeah, we’re together. He makes me forget things that I want to forget about my life. He’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met before. And he’s a good guy. Rare.”

Iris grinned. 

“That’s cute.” 

“Ugh, not cute. He’s also ridiculous and childish sometimes but I’ve gotten used to it. As for what he knows, I can’t tell you that. Sorry.”

Iris rolled her eyes. 

“I will say, though, that he is Barry’s best friend. And he knew Barry way before anyone else in Barry’s life. They grew up together. They’re like brothers. So you can imagine how much he knows.”

Iris nodded. Marz must know a lot. 

“Do you think you’re falling for him?” Iris asked.

“I used to think I could never fall in love. I’ve been through so much. I’ve experienced horrible relationships. But, something is definitely different this time.” Sylvia admitted. 

Iris felt the same way about Barry. There was something so different about him, about how she felt about him. She had a feeling it wasn’t going to go away. 

***

 **Barry** _A year and a couple months ago_

After Eddie left, Barry found his dog and pet him. 

“That guy is so strange, right?” He asked. 

Leo licked his hand in what Barry felt was agreement. 

“Night Leo.”

An hour later and Barry was about to turn in for the night. The clouds had gone away and the thunderstorm passed. 

There was another phone call. 

Barry answered it annoyed, he was about to tell her to leave him alone when he heard,

“Come over.”

Barry gripped his phone harder. 

“We’re over Amelia.”

“I’ve got the stuff.”

Barry sighed and cursed under his breath. 

“I’m trying to quit smoking, you know that.”

“Please.” She said it with an urgency that had Barry running his hands through his hair in frustration. He had to let her go. 

Instead he found himself putting on his newly purchased brown jacket over his hoodie. 

He then left and got on his motorbike and rode to her house. 

When he arrived at her large house, a more regal looking place than Barry’s modern grand home, she was waiting for him outside. 

She opened the gate for him. 

“Hey.” He breathed. 

“Hey.” She smiled. 

As soon as they entered her home their lips collided. It was messy and sloppy and desperate, fire-led, heat-filled kisses that resulted in her landing hard against the closest wall. Barry lifted his hands from her face automatically as she started to remove his jacket, once it was off she flung it to the floor and that’s when Barry stopped and moved away from her, their breathing heavy. 

“What the fuck Barry?” She asked confused in between her breaths. 

He wordlessly went and grabbed his jacket. 

“I just bought this.” He told her, brushing off his jacket. 

She scoffed. 

“Are you kidding me?! Out of all the men in Central City and Hollywood why on earth did I end up with you? You do know that my floor is cleaned daily, right?” 

“Where’s the stuff.” Barry asked. 

“You’re such a -”

“Save it Amie, you know that’s why I’m here.”

“Oh really? Cause your lips were telling me otherwise just now.”

“Where’s the stuff?” Barry asked again.

“My room.” She said sultry. 

“Bring it here. We can smoke here.”

She rolled her eyes. 

“Asshole.” 

Barry sighed. 

“You’re the one who brought me here because of the stuff, so I’m just asking you to get it. We shouldn’t get sidetracked.”

“But getting sidetracked is the fun part.” She smirked, walked over to him and helped him get his hoodie off, leaving his white t-shirt underneath and gave him a passionate kiss. 

“Right?” She asked him, pulling off her own night gown in one swift motion. 

***

Barry didn’t know how he managed to get himself into this position again. In her bed, smoking very unique and specially acquired drugs, naked. He found that he was more addicted each time he smoked it, but he didn’t know how to get out of the situation. It started because of a breakdown he had one award show. Something someone said reminded him of his dad. Memories he constantly has to bury went to the surface and he realized that he wasn’t going to hold it together. He rushed outside to find Amelia, a redhead with freckles, thick eyebrows and a sharp stare, smoking something, it wasn’t weed, it wasn’t tabacco, but it looked like she was enjoying it. 

_“What’s that?” He asked her._

_“Something you’ll never forget.” She had replied with a gleam in her eyes._

The two of them were somewhat inseparable after that. They kept their fling private, but they essentially had sex, smoked, occasionally watched movies and ate food together, and then went back to sleeping together and then smoked again and it became a cycle. It became their thing, their secret. Amelia convinced him to spread rumors that he was sleeping around so that they wouldn’t suspect that the two of them were together. But eventually, when Barry did catch the eye of other women and Barry started flirting with them, Ameila got jealous. She started asking that they go official. That they start dating. Barry wouldn’t have it. He doesn’t want to date. He’s told her that many times. Flings he could do, relationships he could not. 

“Barry?” She asked. 

“Hmm?” 

“Why won’t you date me? I know I’m prideful and bougie and annoying, but I love you.”

Barry laughed.

“Don’t laugh at me!” She hit his chest. 

“You don’t love me Amelia. You love not being alone.”

“Fuck you.” Amelia frowned deeply and then out of nowhere started crying. 

“Shh, shit. Sorry, I’m sorry I said that.” Barry told her, putting an arm around her. 

“But you’re right. I don’t know how to love. My dad disappeared one day after working for a company and my mom just turned so cruel. I hate this world though Barry, let’s run, let’s run away.” She said suddenly getting excited. These were the side affects for her, Barry was used to it, but she said something he’d never known before. 

“Wait, what? Your dad disappeared after working for a company? Do you know the name of the company?” Barry asked. 

“No, I don’t know… T something I think? T.Y? No that’s not it. T.My? Noooo, oh! T.I.! That’s gotta be it. Yeah, my dad works at T.I. but,” She laughed. “don’t tell anyone that, okay? He’ll kill you. I’m serious.”

Barry shot up out of the bed. 

“Amelia. Do you have cameras in your home?” He spoke normally like there was no issues. He didn’t want to wake her out of her state. 

“Umm, yep. But I don’t use them. I turn them off when I have you over.”

Barry let out a breath. 

“Because you want to keep us a secret right?”

“That’s right! But I don’t want to do that anymore, so I turned them on tonight.”

Barry’s eyes widened in panic. 

“You did what?!” Barry shouted.

“Barry, why are you yelling, you’re scaring me!” She yelled back. 

“Okay, okay, sorry. Amelia. I’m going to need you to put some clothes on and wash your face, can you do that?” He asked her. 

She nodded. As she got her clothes on, Barry quickly put his clothes on as well and then helped her to hurry up getting hers on. She always smoked more than him and was utterly wasted. 

He quickly helped her into the washroom and as she washed her face Barry took the time to look carefully around her bedroom. He searched her bedside table, all the stuffed animals, under the bed, on all the nooks, all the corners, he was about to give up when he noticed by her room table there was an odd looking lamp. On top of it was Barry’s discarded shirt. He lifted it off, checked there and found a camera. 

“Shit.” 

Barry turned around to see Amelia, a bit more sober now staring at him staring at her camera. 

“You are fucking insane.” He told her. 

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t need your apology, where does this camera record to?” 

“My laptop.”

Barry snatched the tiny camera off the lamp it was connected to and slammed it on her hardwood floors and stomped on it. 

“What were you going to do with this, sell it to a magazine or something? You _have_ money! I’m sorry you had a screwed up childhood, I did too, but you can’t do this to me Amelia! What’s wrong with you?!” 

“I’m sorry!” She started crying. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You can delete it, I’m not even sure anything recorded.” 

She went and opened her laptop and showed Barry where the cameras hooked up to. 

“Have you been in contact with your dad since he left?” Barry asked. 

She looked petrified. 

“Who?”

“Your father, you told me he left to join a company.”

“Barry, my dad is dead.”

“Ameila, you literally just told me he disappeared -”

“He’s dead!” She screamed. “He’s dead! Get out! Get out of my house my father is dead!!” She was screaming at the top of her lungs and Barry didn’t know what to do. It sounded like she’s said it before. 

“Okay, okay, he’s dead. I won’t talk about him.” 

Amelia nodded calming down. 

“I don’t know what I told you when I was high, but I don’t know my father at all. He died to me when he left.” 

Barry sighed. 

“Can we just view all recorded videos and then delete them?”

Amelia nodded. 

They viewed the videos, she had turned all the cameras in her home on that night so there was proof Barry was in her home, their first make-out session was recorded in full. When they got to the bedroom however, there was technical difficulties for a bit so them entering wasn’t captured and sound was off, then Barry’s shirt got thrown directly in front of the camera so the images weren’t clear and you couldn’t really make out who was there. Without sound even if it got out only the first part of the night would get Barry in trouble. Although in a way, that type of video would be something Barry would be used to getting out. He couldn’t trust any girl he was ever with. As soon as they so much as kissed there would be a tabloid out that he was in a long-term relationship with them. They lied or exaggerated the truth for money, they all did. But Amelia didn’t need the money. 

“I’m so glad your shirt got tossed there.” Amelia said. 

Barry glared at her. 

“What were you planning though, what were you going to do with this?”

“I don’t even know! This would ruin me way more than it would ruin you if it ever got out.”

“So then why?! Why do you even have cameras installed?!”

“Because I got broken in!”

Barry was shocked.

“People broke into my home a while after we started smoking together and asked about my dad.” She sounded traumatized. 

“Did they hurt you?” Barry asked, his voice softening. 

“They tried to. I fought them.”

“Did they say anything about me?” He asked. 

“No, they just kept talking about my dad. I think they mentioned you by asking me what I was doing with you. But then they just went back to asking me about my dad.”

“Do you want to know your dad?”

“Absolutely not. He was a terrible man. Always fighting with my mom. Yelling at me. Yelling at my mom hitting my mom. Hitting me.”

Barry realized that before the man joined T.I. he was already evil. If that’s the case, then he couldn’t have gotten better. 

“Sorry to hear that Amelia.” Barry took her hands in his. He saw pain in her eyes. 

“You know who they are, don’t you?”

Barry sighed in frustration.

“They keep chasing me down.” 

“You know, you never talk about your parents.”

“And I never will.”

“Okay.”

Amelia reached out and placed her hands on the side of his face. 

“You’re going to leave me now aren’t you?”

Barry nodded. 

“This is why I don’t talk about my family. They chase everyone away from me.”

“It’s not because of your dad and it’s not because of your family Amelia, I don’t love you. And I let my guard down by being with you. You could get hurt because of me.”

“You can’t leave me, Barry. Who will I get high with?” Barry wiped the tears that fled down her face. 

“Maybe we should both stop getting high.”

Amelia laughed. 

“If I talk about your parents, would you not reach for another blunt?”

“I would.”

“So stop with that bullshit. We’re too messed up to be with anyone else. We should keep each other company.” She told him, drawing him closer to her. 

“You deserve better.” He told her, pulling away. 

“Fuck. If I do, you definitely do. Fine, go before I change my mind.” 

“Amelia, take care of yourself.” Barry told her with genuine concern. 

“You too, Barry.” She stole a final kiss and Barry kissed her back. The two of them saying goodbye and good riddance. 

***

_Present day - the day after the award show in the morning_

The previous night, all the men stayed over at Barry’s house, hoping that Karp would call and discussing the interesting encounter. 

“Wait, so I thought they were employees, but they’re called agents?” Oliver was confused at the new information. 

“It’s been getting more complicated ever since Sylvia shared what she did.” Marz mentioned.

“Speaking of Sylvia where is she?” Barry had asked. 

“She texted me and told me Iris ripped her dress and she’s staying over at Iris’ place to help her fix it.” Marz said.

Barry was shocked and wanted to go get Sylvia. What if she let something slip? 

“She better not tell Iris anything.”

“I know my Sylvia, she won’t.” Marz was sure. 

Barry nodded in agreement. 

“Yeah she won’t.”

It was now the following morning and Barry was waiting impatiently for Sylvia to come over to his place and tell them what happened. 

When Sylvia arrived, he actually went to his door and opened it for her. 

“Hey, what -”

Sylvia walked right past Barry and into Marz’ arms. They kissed. 

Barry rolled his eyes. 

“What did you and Iris talk about?” Barry finished his question as he closed the door for her. 

They all gathered in his living room. After another kiss with Marz she spoke, 

“We talked about her ex, Eddie Peters, we talked about Marz. We talked about how she found out my real name.”

Barry shut his eyes. 

Sylvia raised an eyebrow, 

“Did you know?”

“She may have let me know she found that out.” Barry admitted. 

“And you didn’t tell me?!”

“I tried to play it off.” Barry told her. 

“Whatever, it’s settled. I talked to her. She’s falling in love with you so you need to figure out what to do with that.” Sylvia told Barry. 

Barry felt panic fill him at that knowledge. Falling in love? With him? Iris? She didn’t deserve him. He sighed. 

“Are you sure she’s going to stop digging?”

“Yes, so you better stop trying to push her away. I don’t care what you’ve been through. You have feelings for her. Marz knows, I know, Reina knows. We all know. Stop being so afraid.”

Barry glared at Sylvia,

“You don’t understand. I don’t date.” Barry said with gritted teeth. 

“Barry, watch how you look at my girl, aight, both of you need to calm down.”

“You said she was with Eddie Peters?! I know that dude. He quit working for me after a few weeks because it came out that I did drugs and I crashed my motorbike that one time. He told me I was hopeless. I can’t believe she dated him.”

“Why do you care, Barry, you don’t date, remember?” 

Sylvia knew she struck a cord as Barry stepped towards her, and Marz stood in between them. 

“If you don’t back the hell up Barry.”

Barry stepped back again, but neither of them budged from their glares at each other. 

“How could you not tell me she knew about my name?! I almost blew my cover. She was scared of me!”

“Why did you have to react so crazy, you could’ve just denied it! Which is what I did.”

“Why are you two fighting over this?! It’s over. Done with. Iris knows your real name Sylvia, so what? You said you sorted it out. And Barry back the hell off my woman.”

Barry nodded, sighing again. 

“Sorry.” He admitted. 

“Sorry.” Sylvia said as well. 

“So you talked about me too huh?” Marz said grinning. Sylvia smiled at him sweetly. 

“Yeah, made me realize something.” 

“What’s that?”

“I’ll tell you later.” 

“Great, that later can be now, you two can go.” Barry said. 

Marz laughed. 

“Don’t be mad at us because you won’t let yourself be with Iris.” Marz said earning a glare from Barry. 

“Can you both just go?” He asked, exasperated. 

“Fine let’s get outta here baby, Barry’s in a mood.” Marz took Sylvia’s hand. Sylvia was about to go when she paused, 

“Barry, I told her to be there for you. Don’t make me out to be a fool. I’ve been through a lot of shit, but even I know, when you find someone special, don’t let them go.”

*** 

_Hours later_

Barry was desperately wishing he could get drunk easier. He drank and drank, but all he could do was think about Iris. She was clear as day in his mind. Her soft defeated “I quit.” kept replaying in his mind. 

He never kissed her, not once, but it feels as though she broke up with him with those two words. 

They had one of their first chances to be one step ahead of T.I. with the burner phone with Karp, but he couldn’t even really rejoice about it. 

“Eddie?! Why him? Anyone but him!” Barry complained to Leo who appeared to comfort Barry. Barry patted the spot next to him on his couch and his dog jumped next to him. 

“Why bud? It’s like my past is chasing me. And why does Eddie still give me bad vibes? Just his name makes me uncomfortable. Why is that?” Barry thought carefully about the name Eddie. It rang a bell somehow. 

He received a text from Sylvia on a secure communication app. 

**S: Important, this is sent from a burner phone. Eddie’s background, search into it. Something is too familiar about his name. But I can’t quite remember why. Delete this message.**

Barry deleted it instantly. 

Then he decided he would indeed figure out who Eddie is. 

He called Oliver with a special caller ID.

“Yeah, I’m on my way out of Central City.”

“I need you to help me look into Eddie Peters, see if he has any records in Star City.”

“Do I get a please and thank you?”

Barry shook his head and chuckled. 

“Thank you, hope you get to visit again.”

“I have a feeling I’ll be there soon enough. I do remember you have a public gallery opening soon.”

“If I can get Iris to stay. I really want her to.”

“Just be honest with her Barry. You don’t have to tell her everything, but tell her the truth.”

***

 **Iris** _At her apartment that same evening_

Iris’ doorbell rang. 

She figured it was Sylvia, maybe she forgot something. She also figured it could be Eddie, but she shook that thought away. She hoped it wasn’t him. She peeked through her little glass viewer on her door allowing her to know who it was. 

It was Barry. 

She quickly opened the door. 

She could tell from the look on his face that he had been drinking, she sighed tiredly. 

“I’m not dealing with you being drunk again.” She said. 

“I sobered up before coming and I took a cab. I’ll be gone soon, I just need five minutes.” He told her. She could tell he wasn’t very drunk, but he looked tired, he looked stressed. 

She let him in. He closed the door behind him. 

Barry took a couple steps inside and she took steps back as he did. He stopped in front of her. She was wearing her glasses. Barry gently reached to her face and trailed his fingers down her chin. 

“I have feelings for you.” He breathed. 

Meanwhile as he said that, Iris held her breath. Her heart started beating faster. She felt butterflies spread through her. 

“W-what?” She answered. 

“Stronger than I’ve ever had before.” He continued, drawing closer to her, his hands traveling up into her hair. 

“Barry,” Iris found her voice shaky. “I -”

“And I can’t do anything about it.” Barry finished. 

“What do you mean?” Iris asked him. 

“You don’t deserve me. You don’t deserve my life. You deserve that quiet simple life. I wish I could give you that.”

“It’s not about what I do or don’t deserve Barry, you can’t decide that. It’s about what I _want_.”

Their eyes were locked with passion and affection. 

“What do you want?” Barry asked her.

“You.” She breathed. Barry placed his head on hers. Their breathing growing faster. 

“I want you.” She repeated. 

Their lips were closing in on each other when her phone rang. 

“Shit.” Iris laughed. They were so close. 

Barry laughed too as he let go of her face, and put his hands in his pockets. 

“One moment.” She told him. 

She managed to answer the call, it was her father. 

“I’m on my way to your place now, just wanted to check if you had enough groceries or you wanted me to grab something on the way?”

Then she remembered he called earlier to check up on her and told her he’d be coming to visit sometime today. She figured this is after his shift is over. 

“Oh, okay dad! Sure, could you get me some veggies, you always know the right kind of healthy things to buy, and some more pasta as well, thanks.”

After the call, Barry and Iris stared at each other. 

“Please don’t quit Iris,” Barry said. “I need you.”

There was desperation in his tone that hit Iris hard. 

“Forget I ever said that. I take it back.” Iris told him softly. 

Barry grinned at that and Iris smiled back. It was rare to see Barry grin. 

“I should go. You have to spend time with your father.” He said.

Iris deflated. 

“Okay.”

Barry was about to leave but then he turned back around and gave Iris a soft kiss on her forehead, then on her nose. 

“You don’t want to kiss me do you?”

“I’m not ready to.” Barry told her. And Iris didn’t know what that meant. 

“A kiss doesn’t mean forever, Barry.” Iris told him, feeling brave enough to put her hands around his neck. 

He looked at her like only he can. 

“It’s different with you.”

Iris didn’t know what to say to that. 

After Barry left, Iris stood where she was for a while. 

She didn’t know why but what Barry said made her fall deeper than ever before. She would find some way to help him. Eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. That was a deep one. This ain't no typical Barry. He's been through a lot. Do share any thoughts/theories, love seeing them!


	3. Alive?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for violence and an emotional, physical and psychological kind of abuse in this chapter. What a chapter this was to write. This is an important chapter.
> 
> Will keep editing mistakes/typos

**Iris** _Where we left off - Joe visiting Iris_

With her father over, Iris was expecting it to be a happy time of catching up, and it was for the most part, but something seemed off with him. She didn’t understand what it was. 

She tried to get it out of him for a while, but he kept side-stepping it. 

“Dad, could you just tell me what’s going on? I know you, something’s bothering you, is it a case?”

Joe looked away from Iris and was in thought for a moment as if deciding whether or not to tell her, then after a deep breath he spoke, 

“I found out some new information about your mother today.” He finally told her. 

“What new information?” 

“Now take this lightly, don’t get too excited, it’s just a lead.” 

“What is it?!” Iris asked. 

“Iris,” Joe paused. “Iris, your mother might still be alive.” Joe said calmly, but Iris could see the hope in his eyes. 

Her eyes widened. 

“What?”

Joe nodded in his own disbelief. 

“I had the same response when I saw the information, but it’s all there in facts. Your mother went to the rainforests of Costa Rica and then she left and her passport was stamped.” 

Iris looked confused, isn’t that where she died? 

“Wait, I thought that’s where they said she drank something poisonous?” 

“That is what _someone_ said, but apparently they aren’t the authority over there. After I found out this new information I talked to the authorities and they told me there’s no record of a Francine West death there. She’s either alive or she died somewhere else.”

Iris stood up from her table where she and father were having dinner.

“Iris, don’t get your hopes up.” Joe said, but Iris wasn’t even close to getting her hopes up. This was terrifying. 

“I don’t understand? They said she died. She never came up in any records. We searched for her!”

“I know. It’s confusing to me too. I wasn’t sure if I should tell you, but you were one of the few people who saw her last. Wally doesn’t know so please don’t tell him.”

“Dad, they said she got her passport stamped?”

Joe nodded. 

“Did they know where she was heading?”

“They assumed she was heading home. At least that’s what the airport official said. She took a flight to the U.S. but they didn’t know if where the flight landed was her final destination.”

Iris took steadying breaths as she paced around. 

“It’s not possible. Mom, would’ve called us! She would’ve told us something.”

“Calm down, Iris. She might not be alive. But this is information we have to look into. We’re going to reopen the case.”

“Dad this doesn’t make any sense.” Iris’ voice was breaking. Joe stood up and went and gave his daughter a hug. 

“I know this is a lot to take in right now, but it’s just a reopen to double check everything. We were lied to. It would be justice to your mother to find out what really happened to her.”

Iris nodded in her father’s arms. She felt tears roll down her face. Her mother was her best friend along with her father growing up. She could always count on her mom to put a smile on her face. When Francine passed, Iris felt like she lost a part of herself. It took a long time for her to mourn and rebuild. How could her past be coming back now? What right did these people have to dig up this information. If her mother wasn’t dead why did it take twelve years and more for them to find out that her mother actually stamped her passport out. Why didn’t they find out sooner?

“How did this new information get out?”

“I don’t know if I can share that Iris. This is police -”

Iris stepped back in annoyance. Everyone keeps trying to hide things from her. 

“Cut it out, dad. I need to know. How did you get this info? It’s been more than twelve years! How did it just come out now?”

“Alright, I guess you should know since it’s about your mother. Apparently the information was buried, the tapes were scratched. There was a recent trial in Costa Rica that had to do with some drug trafficking and somehow your mother’s name came up as someone trying to stop drug trafficking, so they dug deeper into her stay in the rainforests there and then looked into who was leaving the airports that day again. They found some tapes that were hidden in someone’s compartment. Your mother was in one of the tapes. They were shocked out of their mind because they also heard that your mother died in the rainforests. Then they investigated everyone involved with the death records at that time and found out that your mother’s name was forged there. Someone was paid off to put it on there. They interrogated some of the airport officials who was working at that time and found out they were paid off and threatened to lie and to scratch most of the tapes. If not for that one discovered tape with your mother there, we wouldn’t have this new lead.” 

Iris took a deep breath and her hands went on her head. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I wish I was making this up. They lied about everything.”

“Twelve years, dad! Twelve years?!” 

Iris started to feel like she couldn’t control her breathing. She started swaying. 

“Iris?! Iris are you okay?” Joe asked holding her arms to help her. 

Iris nodded, steadying herself by sitting back down. 

“I-I can’t believe it.” She told her father. 

“Sorry, Iris, it isn’t fair to you. It definitely is not fair to me.” Joe said and Iris could see the tears in his eyes. He was the one who had to break it to her that her mother passed. He was the one who heard her shouts of disbelief and then held her as she sobbed. 

How did it take twelve years? Iris wondered. 

“It’s okay, Dad. I’m fine, I promise.” Iris lied to comfort him. She was far from fine. She couldn’t believe that this was coming out now. She was healing all those years, and it was like the wound was cut right back open. 

“If you need to know anything else, let me know,” Her father said standing up.“I should get going.”

Iris nodded. 

“Yeah, sorry about my reaction. This is just to double check the facts. Mom’s not alive.”

“Well, we don’t know that -”

“I can’t go through losing her again, dad. Just let me believe the most likely outcome. I can’t get my hopes up.” Iris admitted. 

Joe sighed and nodded. 

“I’ll be heading back to the CCPD to look further into all of this.” 

“Let me pack you the leftovers. And don’t stay too late. Make sure to get some rest tonight.” Iris told her dad.

He smiled at her. 

“Thank you, sweetie.” He told her. She could sense he was thanking her for more than just the food, but also all the years she pushed through and was strong for their family.

Iris returned a smile to her dad. 

“You’re welcome. One more hug before you leave.”

Joe enveloped Iris in a hug and kissed the side of her head. 

“Love you.” He told her. 

“Love you too, dad.” Iris replied. 

Iris helped to pack her father some leftovers for the rest of the night, as she did, she cracked some jokes, smiled and tried to be as calm and put together as possible. 

But as soon as Joe left her apartment, Iris crumbled to the floor in tears. 

***

 _An hour later_

The knock on Iris’ door almost startled her. She had dozed off on her couch, her blanket was wrapped around her. She was dreaming of her mother and her going Christmas shopping together. She opened her door to see Linda there, Linda held up a bottle of wine in one hand and ice cream in the other. 

Iris smiled at her friend. 

“Hey, girl. How’re you holding up?” Linda asked. 

Iris called Linda a little while after her father left, telling her a much shorter version of what her father told her. Linda then convinced Iris that she should come over to keep Iris company. After all Linda was there when Iris lost her mom. She was with her at the funeral. Linda was the only other person who would really understand what Iris was going through. 

“I’m fine.” Iris said automatically. 

“You don’t look fine.” Linda remarked making Iris laugh. 

“I’ll _be_ fine. I’m just in shock.”

“I’ll say. I can’t believe it. Crazy it took them this long to figure this out. What incompetence.”

“They haven’t figured anything out Linda. My mom’s probably not alive. And if I find out she died in a worse way…I don’t know how I’ll live with it.”

Linda took Iris to her couch and sat down with her on it.

“Listen Iris, don’t break over this. Your mother was a beautiful soul, either way she lives on. Maybe she’s alive, maybe she died in a different way, but denying it all and hiding away isn’t going to change anything.”

“I just don’t want to mourn again. If I think she’s alive and she’s not, it’ll crush me.”

Linda nodded in understanding. 

“But, if she is alive, wouldn’t you be happy?”

Iris sighed.

“Twelve years, Linda. How could she not contact us? I wouldn’t believe it. I know my mom would’ve found a way.”

“You don’t know everything. Maybe she couldn’t.”

“I don’t want to think of that possibility. That means my mom is stuck and has been stuck in a situation where she’s unable to contact us for that long? Linda I can’t take it.” 

Iris cried against Linda’s shoulder, and Linda herself had tears falling at the thought. 

“I don’t know what to say.” Linda admitted, and that was a rarity for her. She always knew what to say. 

“Are you sure she hasn’t tried to contact you in a way that you don’t know? Is there anything of your moms you still have? Like her phone?” Linda asked after a moment. 

Iris sat up abruptly. 

“What?” Linda asked. 

“Thanks, Linda, I need you to leave now.” She asked. 

“Guess that means there’s something you need to find? Sure I can’t stick around to find out what?” 

Iris smiled but shook her head. 

“Sorry, Lin, but I gotta do this alone.”

Linda nodded. 

“Well, I will leave the ice cream and wine with you.” Linda said and left right after she put the ice cream in the freezer. 

Iris waited a few minutes after Linda left before she went to her room and opened her wardrobe and the secret compartment there where she kept her mother’s things. 

She carefully brought out the cardboard box with tons of papers, a burner phone, a pager, a notebook and a gun, her mother’s gun. 

Iris knew since she was a little girl that her mother did some top secret stuff. She just didn’t know anything about it. She used to imagine that her mother was a spy and that every time she traveled she went on spy trips. 

Before her mother went to Costa Rica, she told Iris to watch over her things in a safe-locker somewhere. Her mother gave her the key. 

So when Francine ‘died’ Iris found and opened the safe-locker without telling her father and took her mother’s things. She wanted to keep a part of her mother, everything else went to evidence and she didn’t want to hand these things over. After all, her mother told her to watch over her things, so she did. For twelve years. As if she held some hope that there was a reason why she was keeping them. And now, maybe there was?

Iris carefully ran her fingers over the items. She shifted the gun to the side and picked up the notebook. 

Her mother’s handwriting was quick and messy, but beautiful all the same. She turned to a random page and read,

_I am running everyday. Trying to stay a step ahead of them. They aren’t going to leave my co-workers alone until they take their lives. I feel for them. They have a son._

Iris felt drawn to that. They had a son? Who was her mother talking about? 

_It’s not easy keeping Bakersfield CC going when I also have to check on the other branches around the world. Countering what they’re doing is harder than we thought. We foil one of their plans and they start another. The workers of evil don’t seem to stop to sleep._

Iris breathed. She’d been too afraid to read through her mother's notes and she was still uneasy going through them. She put the notebook down. 

Instead, she went through some of the papers, there were so many of them that she never bothered reading them. In fact, she’d forgotten about her mother’s things. If Sylvia hadn’t scared her yesterday she probably would’ve forgotten where she placed it. 

She brought out one of the papers that she noticed said:

 **BAKERSFIELD INDUSTRIES AGENT EMPLOYEE CONTRACT**

Iris was confused. Her mother worked there? She remembered Barry would make headlines for breaking into their old company grounds. All through her childhood her mother never once told her exactly where she worked. She sat down on her bedroom floor and started reading. 

***

_Two and a half years ago_

Iris and Eddie were taking a drive, it’s what they did sometimes when both needed to relax, Eddie’s idea. It was one of those days where Iris remembered the day she found out about her mother’s death and Eddie decided that taking a drive would be a good idea. She was always depressed on those days. 

“Hey, please slow down a little, we’re not on the freeway yet.” Iris said softly. 

Eddie laughed at her. 

“Iris, hunny, I’m not going fast _enough_ , we opened the windows for a reason, to let the air in. The speed is good.”

“I don’t want to get stopped by the cops, I’m not in the mood.” Iris told him bluntly. 

Eddie sighed as if she said something annoying and slowed down. 

They rode in silence for a while. 

“You don’t really ever talk about your mother with me, what was she like?” Eddie asked her. 

Iris sighed.

“I don’t know what to say. It hurts to remember.”

“Iris you can’t keep it all bottled up -”

“What about you, Eddie? You never talk about your birth parents.”

Eddie gripped the steering wheel tighter and swerved them suddenly, almost causing Iris to hit her head against the window on her side. 

“What was that Eddie?!” Iris shouted, barely missing hitting her head. 

“Sorry, I needed to change lanes.” He told her. 

Iris wanted to get out of the car. 

“Is there a destination we are heading to or are we just driving for hours and hours again?” Iris asked with annoyance, wrapping her arms around herself. 

“Why do you have to complain about everything I suggest?” Eddie asked her. He said it in a simple and calm way, but to Iris, it sounded like a threat so she stopped talking. 

After another few minutes of silence and when they finally were on the open road, Eddie smiled,

“I hate them.” He told her. 

“Your birth parents?” Iris asked, surprised he was talking about it. 

“Yep. They gave me up when I was just a baby.”

“Maybe they had a good reason?” Iris suggested. 

“Whatever reason they had they should’ve told my adopted parents. They just left me in an orphanage. I was adopted without any knowledge of them. Isn’t that just cruel?”

“It happens a lot Eddie, sometimes parents have reasons for that. You can still find out about them.”

“But the Peters,” Eddie went on ignoring what Iris said. “the Peters loved me and welcomed me in. I don’t care to know about my birth parents. But Francine is your real mother Iris. She loved you _and_ she brought you into the world. I would’ve loved to have that.”

“Please don’t say her name.” Iris surprised herself by saying. 

Eddie glared at Iris. 

“Why not? I’m your boyfriend.”

Iris frowned. He used that as an excuse for everything. She was tired of it. Yet she didn’t say anything in reply to that. 

“Want to get something to eat? I know a place outside Central City. Darline Peters, my mom, took me there once.”

Iris plastered on a smile. 

“Sure.” She said sadly. 

***

As they ate in the restaurant in Star City, Iris just hummed to herself a lullaby song that her mother used to sing to her. 

“Hun, you’re singing?”

“I’m humming, Eddie.”

“It’s lovely.”

Iris smiled at him genuinely, 

“Thanks.”

“Why don’t you ever perform?” He asked causing her smile to disappear. Here he goes again, he’s going to give her another lecture about how PR work was too much and she should try to do something else with her life, she was sick of it. 

“Do you know your real last name?” Iris asked to get out of that conversation. 

Eddie stared at Iris with suspicion.

“No, why?” He asked. 

“No reason. That’s just the first thing I’d suggest you dig into if you ever want to know about your birth parents. Look into the name on your birth certificate.”

Eddie laughed. 

“I didn’t have one.”

Iris was shocked. 

“Yep.” Eddie said. 

“Then do a DNA test.” Iris suggested with a shrug. 

Eddie sighed again. That annoyed sigh. 

“Let’s go, it’s getting stuffy in here.” He said. 

“But I haven’t finished eat -”

“We can take it away. Let’s go.”

Iris stood up as Eddie told the waiter to pack their things because they were leaving. 

She wondered how she ever ended up with this guy. Yet she didn’t know how to leave. 

***

On the drive back home, Eddie kept trying to kiss her neck and his hands were roaming and Iris wasn’t having it. She wasn’t in the mood at all. She hardly was anymore. Eddie felt like a stranger to her a lot of the times, the way he acted as her boyfriend was so different from who he was before. 

So she used her best tactic, talk about something that’ll distract him.

“Linda’s party is next week.” She said, removing Eddie’s hand from her leg. 

“Oh yeah?” He said. 

“Yeah, I’m so excited I get to help decorate and everything. It’ll get me out of my funk for sure.”

“Linda told me that she’s thinking about having it on Shore Lane?” Eddie mentioned. 

“Yeah, it’s a great spot with good nightlife.” Iris told him. 

Eddie chuckled. 

“Good nightlife? Iris, men get heavily drunk all the time in that area. They’re always walking about with bottles in their hands doing stupid stuff. I don’t get that location.”

It was Iris’ turn to sigh. 

“Eddie it’s just a party. We’ll be inside most of the time anyway. Linda knows self-defense, and I hope you remember I do too, my dad trained me. And -”

“There are situations you can’t prepare for though, even with self-defense.”

“Eddie, please don’t do this again.” 

“Do what?”

“Try to convince me to change my mind about something I’m excited for. It’s annyoing.”

“When have I ever done that?”

“Just last week I told you I was excited to go to that baseball game and you told me that my team would lose.”

“They did lose.” Eddie said. 

“That’s not the point! As my _boyfriend_ you’re supposed to encourage me and make me excited to go, not make me feel like shit.” 

“I didn’t want you to get your hopes up.”

“Eddie, I’m going to this party, end of story.” 

Iris was hardly ever firm on things, but this time she was putting her foot down. She hated her down spells and she knew this would pick her up. She would be surrounded by people she loved and there would be games, it was going to be a positive atmosphere and Eddie wasn’t invited. She wasn’t going to miss it. 

“I still don’t get why she made it an all girls night?” Eddie said. 

“Because it’s fun that way. ” Iris replied. 

“Fine, enjoy the party.” Eddie told Iris. 

Iris smiled. 

“Thanks.”

“Do I get a kiss?” Eddie asked. Iris halted for a moment before saying yes and allowing him to kiss her. 

***

“How could you?!” Iris yelled. 

Eddie was pacing in Iris’ apartment, the anger he felt radiating off him. 

Iris just got off the phone with Linda an hour ago who told her she didn’t have to come to the party if she didn’t want to. Iris asked her how she ever got that idea, it all eventually pointed to Eddie and his lying. She called Eddie over instantly. When he arrived she didn’t waste any time getting straight to the point. 

“Iris, listen to me, you don’t want to go there!” Eddie shouted back. It was rare and it took Iris aback. But she quickly recovered. 

“Why? Are you hiding some chick in Shore Lane? What the fuck Eddie?! It’s my best friends birthday party!”

“Why would you suggest I’d ever cheat on you? You know I would never.” His voice calmed down again, honestly, it was even scarier for Iris when he was calm. 

“Eddie, I think I can’t do this anymore.” Iris admitted, feeling tears reach her eyes. 

“Iris, you don’t understand, this Shore Lane, I’ve heard about it. It’s dangerous.” 

“Alight, Eddie will you join us then? Would _that_ make me safe enough for you?” Iris asked that to test his response. 

Eddie’s features changed, he was thinking. Then he grinned, 

“Could I?” He asked. 

Iris didn’t know what came over her but she slapped him. Hard. 

He would lie to her friend about her not wanting to go just because he wasn’t invited. This was the type of bullshit he’d been pulling for a couple of months. Iris could never get rid of him. He was everywhere she was, she could barely breathe. 

Eddie looked more furious than ever before. 

“Did you just slap me?” He whispered angrily. 

“Yes, yes I did!” Iris responded. 

“Iris that’s not right, I need an apology.” He told her. Iris shook her head. 

“Apologize. Now.” Eddie walked Iris backwards to a wall, cornering her. 

Iris shook her head. 

“Iris, I don’t want to hurt you.” He told her. 

Iris tried to move but he shoved her back violently, her back hitting the wall painfully. 

Before she could recover from the impact, his hand carefully wrapped around her neck and Iris felt tears streaming down her face as her vision blurred. His grip was tight enough. It was frightening. He was suffocating her slowly, his grip getting tighter. She struggled against his hand but he was stronger than he seemed. 

“Apologize.” He told her. 

Iris fought, but every-time she did his grip got tighter, she was struggling to breathe. 

“S-sorry.” Iris sobbed. He wasn’t fully choking her, but it was a fear tactic that worked. It made her feel like the world was closing in on her and that any moment it could all just end. She knew not to scream because he’d just bash her head in and lie that she tripped. He was a good liar. 

He let go of her and Iris dropped to ground crying. 

“Who _are_ you?!” She cried out. She couldn’t even see him because of the tears, but she knew he was standing there. 

She continued, 

“I want to break up. I don’t want to see you ever again.” She told him between her tears.

“I - I’m sorry, Iris, I don’t know why I did that.” Eddie said sounding scared of himself. 

“Fuck you.” Iris told him. 

“I’m really sorry, please forgive me.” He tried to help her up but she pushed him away. 

“Get away from me! I don’t want you to touch me!” She screamed at him. 

She could see his face again as she wiped her tears, she saw the pain, the hurt. 

“Iris please.”

“Get out of my house.” Iris told him. 

“Iris -”

“Eddie, I will call my father to remove you myself. Get out of my house! Get out of my life! Get the fuck out!” Iris shouted at him. 

***

 _A few months later_

Iris was at the coffee shop first, she sipped on her coffee. She was definitely a little scared, but she also knew she didn’t want to hold onto the hate any longer. Eddie clearly needed help. He called her recently and told her that he’s been seeing a therapist. That he wanted to meet with her for closure.

She hoped it would go well. She herself went to therapy as well. She only went to two sessions right after the incident happened. That was the first time ever Eddie was violent to her. He always looked like he was ready to hit her at any time, but he never did. She’s had him pretend to throw a punch to make her flinch or use “accidents” to hurt her, but he’s never been so direct, and he was so clever about it, that was the scariest part. He knew that hitting her would leave obvious evidence, so instead, he went for a fear tactic. 

It was never Eddie’s purpose to do great harm, it was always about fear for him, control. Manipulating her to do what he wanted. There were times that she felt he even convinced her to sleep with him. And after knowing he’s such a great liar, Iris realized that her whole basis of being with him was a lie. He’s controlling, manipulative and everything she thought she liked about him was fake. The crazy thing is she doesn’t even know when he started to change. She can’t pinpoint the day that everything changed and she started being afraid of him more than being excited to see him. It was all just one big blur to her. A blur of horror. 

Eddie entered the coffee shop and walked towards her, he waved and smiled jovially like he would. Iris gave him a small smile. 

“Hey, Iris.” He said as he sat across from her. 

“Hey.” Iris replied simply. 

“So, how’ve you been?” Eddie asked her. 

“I’ve been good, well, better. I’ve been doing this meditation thing before bed, really helps me to get to sleep.” Iris told him.

“Good.” He said. 

“You?” Iris asked. 

“I’m…I don’t know Iris. I’m always happy because what excuse do I have to be sad? I grew up with a great family, had a great life…yet, for some reason I can’t get over my birth parents leaving me. My therapist says that’s why I have control issues. And I keep trying to exert power on those closest to me, those I love.”

“Were you like that as a child?” Iris asked. 

“A little bit. I would have tantrums over small things not going my way. I was punished heavily for fighting with my sisters though, so I stopped fighting with them and just tried to convince them to do what I wanted.” Eddie admitted. 

“And by convince, you mean manipulate?” Iris said. 

“I don’t like that word.” Eddie replied. 

“But you know that’s how you made me feel, right? Like I was being manipulated most of our relationship?”

“I’m sorry I ever made you feel that way Iris.”

“You didn’t make me feel that way, that’s what you did.”

“I have been working on other ways to release my control issues and anger towards my birth parents.” Eddie said. 

“What are those ways?” Iris asked. 

“I go boxing. I have a stress ball. I exercise more. If I feel like controlling a situation I just remember that life cannot be controlled, my therapist gave me a mantra to remember and all that.”

“Eddie that’s good to hear.” Iris said. 

“I won’t ever get you back though, will I?” Eddie asked. 

Iris shook her head and laughed. 

“The chances are slim.”

“But there are chances?” Eddie asked, his smile reaching his eyes. 

Iris shrugged.

“We’ll see.”

***

_A few weeks later_

Iris sat up in his bed, bringing the covers up over her and checked the digital clock to see it read three am. 

She hated herself for falling back into him, but she didn’t know where else to go. He was nice to talk to these days, pleasant even. Like she got simple old Eddie back. He was funny in his own way and silly sometimes and just a ray of fucking sunshine. Iris’ life otherwise would revolve around her work and trying not to remember anything that had to do with her mother, which on most days she was pretty good at. But sometimes the memories would sneak in and would feel down, something wasn’t right about how her mother was taken from them. She could feel it in her bones. 

Eddie rolled over to her side and sat up as well, he rubbed her bare back. Iris turned to him and smiled. 

“I can’t stay.”

Eddie glanced at the clock. 

“It’s three am. You’re leaving now?” He asked, sounding concerned. 

“I mean, I mean I don’t want us to date.”

“Oh…” Eddie said, realization dawning on him. 

“I know you’ve changed, it’s great, but, I think I’m a little too lost right now.”

“Lost?” Eddie asked. 

“It’s like I’m searching for something. I just feel like nothing makes sense, so I want something familiar. And that’s you. But you and I we can’t have a relationship, you know that.”

“But I’m different Iris, I promise.”

“And I actually believe you. But, But Eddie I still have all those memories of you and me, the way you treated me, and the thought of being in a relationship with you again scares me more anything.”

Eddie nodded. 

“I understand.” He said. 

Iris smiled at him. 

“Thank you,” She kissed him. “I think we should stay friends.”

Eddie looked away from her for a moment. 

When he turned back Iris could see the tears in his eyes,

“I really messed us up, didn’t I? I will wait for you Iris, however long it takes for you to see me differently.”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen Eddie, I don’t think we’re meant to be.”

“Do you believe there’s someone out there that’s just right for you?” Eddie asked Iris, surprised. 

“I don’t know. But what I feel like with you, it’s not gonna last.”

Eddie nodded again. 

“Sadly for me, I don’t think there’s anyone I could love more than you.” Eddie said. 

Iris sighed,

“Eddie, I think you need to try to see someone else. I’m not the only girl in the world.” 

“I know, but there’s something special about you Iris.”

Iris laughed. 

“What? Something special about me? A woman who goes in and out of depression occasionally when she remembers her mother’s death? A woman who is buried in her work and doesn’t have time for herself? The specialist PR assistant who runs back to her obsessive abusive ex?”

Eddie sat up straighter at her final comment. 

“What?!” He asked, anger in his voice. Iris shifted back in automatic response. 

“See? Sorry to rile you up, but I wanted you to know that we could never be together Eddie. You may have changed, but I may push your buttons, then what? If you hurt me again, even accidentally I’d get you sent to jail. There’s no point. I don’t love you, and honestly, I think you’re just afraid to be with anyone else.”

Eddie didn’t reply to that and Iris called herself a cab and left.

***

 **Iris** _present day, after Iris started reading the contract_

She got through the first few paragraphs pretty easily, it was regular contract stuff, talking about liabilities and salary, and duties and all of that, but then towards the end she started seeing strange things. Like how her mother would need to receive fight training, shooting classes, and other things that pointed directly to top-secret spy work. Was her mother really a spy?

Iris couldn’t believe what she was reading. Then, she came across something interesting,

'Agents and employees of Bakersfield Industries are not allowed to be associated with, fraternize or even interact with any employee or agent from Thawne Industries unless the purpose or meaning of the interaction is explicitly stated to the board.'

Thawne Industries? 

She’s never heard of that before. 

Iris continued to read through everything and found nothing else really stuck out to her. Why couldn’t her mother be associated with this other industry? Was that the enemy? Suddenly Iris started to realize that the secretive nature of Barry and the way Sylvia reacted to her name, they had to all be connected. They _were_ all connected! 

Iris quickly stood up. She put all the papers back into the box. She picked up her mom’s burner phone. 

It was blank. She tried to turn the phone on, but it wouldn’t turn on. She hit it many times as if that would wake it up. Nothing. She grabbed the pager, she pressed all the buttons, one of the buttons turned it on. 

There was a message, the date was ten years ago, ten years?! Not twelve but ten? Iris squinted her eyes in shock at the message. Iris’ heart was racing. 

**Iris if you see this, go find Barry Allen! I love you. I’ll find you all.**

Iris dropped the pager and screamed. 

She then started crying uncontrollably, was Barry the boy her mother was talking about? The boy whose parents were on thin ice? Were his parents her co-workers? Were they all connected in this nightmare? 

She kicked the box over to the side causing papers to spill out and then she quickly put the papers back in and stared at an interesting one, 

**TRAVEL AGENT CLAUSE**

Her mother was a travel agent?

_*You are responsible for any incidents that might cause death. This is a high-risk job and there are liabilities._

Iris cried harder. What was this madness her mother was a part of? 

She quickly shoved all the papers back in the box and hid everything in her wardrobe’s secret compartment. 

Right after doing so Iris ran to her bathroom and threw up. 

***

 **Barry** _That same night at his home_

Barry was restless and impatient, when was Karp going to get back to him? He clutched his phone in one hand and used the other to attempt to paint a new piece. He definitely had enough emotion to want to paint. However the painting wasn’t going as he wanted, he was about to chuck the whole painting away when his phone rang. 

He answered it immediately without even checking who the caller was, 

“Hello?” He asked. 

“Barry.” He was surprised to hear Iris’ voice, and even more surprised to hear how she sounded like she was crying. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Barry I don’t understand any of this.”

“Of what?”

“This is what you were trying to hide from me isn’t it?”

“Iris, I don’t know what’s wrong, please stop crying.” Barry felt helpless from where he was. He quickly set his paintbrush away and went to grab his jacket. 

“Barry, I know where your parents worked.”

Barry stopped dead in his tracks. 

“What do you mean?” He asked Iris. 

“I know they worked at Bakersfield Industries? I’m right, I know I’m right. We’re all mixed up in this. We’re all fucked up because of this!” 

“Iris what the fuck are you talking about how do you know this?!”

“My mom is Francine West! She supposedly died working for Bakersfield!”

Barry was winded. 

Her mother was Francine? 

Barry knew a Francine. A kind woman who sometimes visited him at the orphanage. She’d always bring food and tell him to try to make a friend. She also told him he was a talented painter. But then, after a while she stopped coming, she disappeared. 

_No._ Barry thought. 

“Supposedly?” Was all he could say. His voice broke.

“My dad,” Iris paused in between sobs, “my dad told me they’re re-opening her case. She might be alive. I didn’t want to believe it, but, she sent me a message ten years ago to find you.”

“Shit, shit shit, no, Iris.” Barry hadn’t cried in a while, but there were tears in his eyes. Not Iris. He didn’t want her involved. He didn’t want to bring her in this. He stayed away. He was patient. He wanted to stop them. He didn’t want her to get hurt. Not Iris! Barry sat down on his couch for a moment and hung his head. 

Iris didn’t say anything. Barry didn’t say anything. 

Neither ended the call. 

The only sound was their breaths, heavy and strained. 

“I’m coming over.” Barry said after a while. 

“Okay. Please be quick.” Iris replied. 

***

_Third pov_

Barry rode his motorcycle out to Iris’ place a couple times before, one under the influence. The dark of the night wasn’t anything that worried Barry, and so he rode fast, hoping to making it to her place in record time. He rode so quickly that he didn’t notice that there was a steady light behind him, like a car was trailing him. On most nights if he was out riding, he would’ve lost the car, but this night he was focused on getting to Iris. Comforting Iris. Telling Iris everything. Figuring everything out with Iris. 

Iris was on his mind. 

So, he missed that the car started speeding up. Then he heard sirens out of nowhere and decided that out-driving the cops on a motorcycle would not be a good idea. He needed to stay out of the headlines at this point. He needed to stay away from negative press. So despite wanting to get to Iris’ place as soon as possible, Barry stopped. 

When he did there was a quick action of more than one person exiting the car, and then before he knew it he was hit. 

Right in the face, and the problem was that Barry wasn’t expecting it, it sent him flying off to the side of his bike, and tilted the bike so much that the heavy machine fell to the ground, sending Barry toppling over with it. He recovered quickly though, standing up. His head was burning and he felt the drip of blood on his face - that was definitely not a human that hit him, or at least normal person, there was metal involved. Another person tried to hit Barry - they were all wearing black and their faces were covered in masks so Barry couldn’t see who they were, but he intercepted the other hit catching the person’s fist in his hand and then using a move he learned to twist the person’s arm dangerously. The person cried out in pain, and then in that moment another person tried to hit Barry and he stopped that hit by kicking that person in the stomach. 

Barry prepared for this. All his kick-boxing and mix martial arts training at his personal gym was for a reason. He knew that this would happen one day. After all, it’s happened before. 

He fought the four men he counted who were ganging up against him tirelessly. Fighting them with distinct MMA moves to protect himself. He tried not to do too much damage. When he finally seemed to wear them out, one of them pulled out a knife and sliced at Barry’s abdomen, cutting it open. Barry cried out in pain and fell to the ground. Blood was soaking his shirt. It wasn’t too deep a cut, but it the pain was near paralyzing. 

Three of them left him then, entering the car, but the fourth man stayed behind. He crouched down close to Barry and slipped a note in Barry’s jacket pocket. 

“From Karp.” The person said. Then they joined the rest in the fake police car and drove off. 

Barry struggled to move with the striking pain the cut produced and simply managed to reach into his jeans pocket and pull out his phone. He called Iris. 

“Hello?” Iris answered, she sounded more put together. 

“Iris, I’m on the road, highway 38, I was jumped,” Barry struggled to form words, wincing at the pain. He cut the part of his shirt that was torn from the knife and tried and failed to wrap it around the wound. 

“I’m bleeding. Losing blood.”

“What?! Barry I’m going to call an ambulance!”

“No, don’t! They’ll ask questions. Will call Reina, she knows medical care.”

“Okay, I’m coming. I’ll find you. Can I call Syl-”

“I’ll call Marz. Don’t worry. Sorry I can’t come over.” Barry said, wincing at the effort. 

“Call who you need to call Barry, I’m taking a cab to find you.”

“Iris, you don’t -” 

She dropped the call.

“Have to…” Barry felt lightheaded. 

He called Reina and told her about his whereabouts and asked her to call Marz for him that he’s about to pass out. 

About ten minutes later Barry heard a car in the distance. He wondered how Marz made it so fast. 

He tried to sit up but it didn’t work, suddenly Iris appeared from the car, it looked like a taxi. The car didn’t stay so it must’ve been a cab, and then Iris rushed towards him with a medical care box in her hand and bent beside him.

“What on earth, Barry, how did this happen?” She asked him, the genuine care and concern in her eyes made him smile. 

“You’re incredible.” He told her before passing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are really picking up! This was a tough chapter. I just want to say that I stand with survivors of all kinds of abuse. And that I believe it's important to expose all types of abuse, including ones that aren't so widely known. Remember that no matter what, how people treat you does not define you nor should it shape you. Love yourself and protect yourself, know your limits and boundaries. ❤ Take care lovelies! 
> 
> Did ya'll guess correctly about T.I.? Exciting stuff planned for the next chapter.


	4. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)
> 
> Will keep editing for any mistakes/typos.

**Iris** _Where we left off_

After Barry passed out, Iris went straight into action, she took some first aid classes on the side during High School to be able to protect her brother and father in case of emergencies. 

She first brought out some water and rinsed off the cut, it was large but not too deep. She breathed. Then she poured some disinfectant liquid on it to prevent infection and sanitize the cut. Barry stirred a bit at that but didn’t fully wake up. Right after, she quickly used bandages in her medical care box to carefully wrap the cut tightly, bringing Barry up a bit to make sure the wrap went around his stomach, once it was carefully secured she cut it and tied the end. Then she took a couple of deep breaths. 

They would have to get out of the near middle of the road. Iris dragged Barry from where he was even further to the side of the road. Then she struggled to get the motorcycle off the ground, once she did, she managed to lug it a few inches but then let it drop again in exhaustion. She went back to Barry’s side. He was burning up and she was worried, she sat down beside him and placed his head on her lap. She brushed his wet hair from the sweat on his forehead. 

“Stay with me, Barry.” Iris whispered. 

After a while, Iris didn’t know how long - but it felt like forever, a car drove up to where they were. 

It was Marz’ car. Iris saw Marz through the window and an elderly woman she assumed was Reina sitting in the front, who Iris didn’t really know anything about, except that perhaps she was Barry’s housekeeper? Marz and the woman got out of the car and Marz and Iris exchanged a look, where Marz nodded to Iris in appreciation and respect and Iris nodded back. Marz helped Barry up and hoisted Barry on his weight, half-carrying half-dragging Barry to his car, Iris rushed over to help him open the car door and they placed Barry inside. 

“How bad is it?” Marz asked. Reina was beside Marz, listening attentively. 

“It could’ve been worse. It’s a nasty cut, but not too deep. But I think he has a fever now. I did the best I could.” Iris told them. 

Reina nodded. 

“Merci, vous êtes un ange.”

Iris understood a little French and she was aware that this woman just called her an angel. That was too kind. She smiled kindly at her. 

“Merci. But, je _not_ un ange.” She replied, earning a grin from Reina.

“You can go home now, dear one, we will take care of him.” Reina told Iris. 

“I actually would like to come with you. Will you take him back to his place?” Iris asked, looking at Marz. 

“Yep. Reina will know what to do once she looks at the wound. She was a nurse.”

Iris nodded. She wanted to know more about this French woman, but she knew she’d learn in time. 

“Let me come with you guys, please.” Iris asked. 

“Are you sure?” Marz asked. 

Iris nodded. 

“Okay, you can sit with him in the back.” Marz offered and Iris grinned at him. 

“And you can help me. Marz doesn’t like seeing blood.” Reina remarked as she entered the front seat. Marz tsked at that. 

“Why you gotta do me like that, Reina? Does she really need to know?” Marz shook his head chuckling as he got in the driver seat. Iris quickly got in the backseat as well and they were off. 

***

_An hour later_

Barry’s wound was properly treated by Reina with a little help from Iris. 

Iris was surprised to find that there was a whole medical room in Barry’s house. It made sense because his place was so big and there were many unused rooms, but a whole medical room? One with a sterilized bed and everything. Reina had all the materials she needed to treat his wound. After properly cleaning the wound she gave him a couple of stitches for the cut and then she re-wrapped him up. It wasn’t that deep but it did need a few stitches to ensure proper healing. 

“Whoever cut him, they didn’t want to cause too much damage, just distract him with pain and cause blood loss.” Reina remarked. 

Iris had a feeling she’s done all this before. 

“So, you mean they didn’t actually want to hurt him?”

Reina laughed. 

“No, they definitely wanted to hurt him, but they didn’t want to _kill_ him. Or cause any substantial injury. It’s more like a warning cut. Or a message.”

Iris was completely confused. 

Reina smiled at her in understanding. 

“Barry has told you nothing, right?”

Iris nodded. 

“So then, why did he call you first?” Reina asked. 

“I - my mom - we -”

“Let me guess, your mother was somehow involved with T.I. fighting against it, perhaps?”

“Yes, against.” Iris said firmly. 

Reina nodded. 

“I figured. Do you know anything about it?”

Iris shook her head. 

“I just found out all this information earlier today. I went through my mother’s contract. Thaw-”

“No, don’t say the full name here. Just T.I.”

Iris nodded,

“ -T.I, sounds terrible.” She completed. 

“They are. Since you’ve just entered into this very bleak world, let me make you some tea. You can stay here with him. When he wakes up and his mind is clear he will tell you more.”

Reina patted Iris’ back gently out of sympathy and then went to prepare her tea. 

Iris took the chair next to Barry’s bed and looked at him. He was looking better, his fever was down. Reina connected him to an IV drip that held vitamins and iron to help him to produce blood faster. Thankfully he didn’t need to have a blood transfer even though he did lose a lot of blood, he didn't lose too much.

Iris was stunned at how much emergency equipment Barry had. 

She reached for his hand and held onto it. 

“I can’t believe you had to carry all this by yourself.”

She whispered to him. 

She stayed there by his side for a while, dozing off occasionally. 

Reina came in at a point and woke her to give her the tea. Iris thanked Reina and drank it. 

She then shifted her chair even closer to Barry and rested her head on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat, it was a steady rhythm and it calmed her down. She wanted to know so much, and now he couldn’t deny her anymore. She was directly involved. She needed to know everything, the whole truth. 

***

 **Barry** _Early the following morning_

Barry woke his body feeling numb. But his heart was warm. He glanced down and was surprised. His shirt was off, he expected that, that’s how he’d get treated, but he wasn’t expecting Iris to be sleeping peacefully on his chest. He didn’t want to move and wake her up. He raised his head on the pillows and sat up a bit so he could see her better. Her beautiful restful face, as she slept, was too precious. He lifted his hand that wasn’t covered by her body and gently brushed some hair off her face. His thumb caressed her cheek. What a human before him. She was everything he could’ve ever wanted and more. His heart picked up its pace as he tucked some hair behind her ear. He wanted to kiss her. Instead, he just studied her. He studied her features, memorizing the curve of her lips, her eyes, her stunning soft brown skin, and the shape of her face. Everything was etched so clearly in his mind, he knew he could paint her. He wanted to paint her. 

Iris suddenly stirred,

“Mmhmm…” She sounded. Barry smiled. Did she enjoy his caresses? A moment later her eyes fluttered open and she stared straight at him. He watched her features turn from shock, that he was awake, to a soft smile and a tender shyness. She got up from his chest and wiped her mouth subconsciously for any drool. 

“Uhm… I make sounds in my sleep sometimes.” Iris blurted. 

Barry laughed. 

“I like that.” He said, mirth in his eyes. Iris playfully rolled her eyes. 

“So, how are you feeling?” Iris asked seriously. 

“I mean, the meds worked. I don’t feel any pain right now. I think once they wear out I’ll probably feel tons of pain, but then I’ll just take more meds.”

Iris shook her head at him. 

“I was so scared for a moment. On the side of the road. You were burning up.” 

Barry brought his hand up and held the side of her face, his eyes filled with affection, 

“Thank you.” He told her. 

Iris smiled at him. 

Barry smiled as well.

“I feel great right now. But I am also feeling a bit weak, so I need to get out of this bed and walk around. To get my strength up. Do you mind?” Barry asked. He extended his other hand out for her help. 

Iris took his hand off her face and kissed his palm. He wasn’t expecting that and grinned at her uncontrollably. 

She helped him out of the bed and removed the IV drip needle from him as well. 

“Will Reina be okay with this?” Iris asked, realizing that he was getting up kind of earlier than most would recommend. She helped him take a couple steps away from his bed. The pain must’ve returned because she noticed he was wincing a bit. 

“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” Barry joked. 

“Barry!” 

“She’ll be fine with it. I’ve survived with worse.” Barry told her. 

“Will this actually help you though? The wound needs to heal.”

“I need to get my strength back up as soon as possible.”

“You need to heal properly.” Iris told him. 

“Alright, just five to ten minutes to stretch out my legs, then I’m back to being bedridden.” He offered. 

Iris agreed to that. 

Barry could tell Iris had fun helping him around his own house. He had to stop a few times to catch his breath and it was making her laugh. She asked him if he was doing it on purpose. He was doing it on purpose a couple of times, but the first few times were real. Barry’s energy was not where he needed it to be after receiving such vital information the previous night. His memory was clear before he passed out, he was handed something, it was either in his jeans pocket or his jacket, he checked his jeans pockets as Iris was leading him and didn’t find anything. That left the jacket, he needed to find it. 

“So, quick question, do you know where my jacket is by any chance?” Barry asked Iris after they went to his living room, the half-done painting he now hated was staring at him, but his jacket was no where to be found.

“I think Reina wanted to wash it because of the blood -”

“No!” Barry suddenly exclaimed. Iris was startled and he wished he wasn’t so loud. 

“Sorry, Iris, but there’s something in it. We need it.”

“Oh okay, I don’t know if it’s actually been washed yet. But I also don’t even know where your laundry room is, Reina didn’t tell me, and I stayed by you.”

“Do you know if she's still here?” 

“I’m not sure, I fell asleep. But before I did, she was still here.”

“Relax, relax.” Reina’s voice appeared, she sounded groggy like she was interrupted from her sleep. She walked towards both of them holding a note in her hand. In her other hand she held a newspaper. 

“Silly garçon! When do I ever wash your clothes without checking the pockets, first? Eh? Who do you think I am?! You woke me up.” Reina playfully smacked Barry with a rolled up newspaper she carried. Barry pouted. 

“Désolé, Reina! Désolé, please don’t hurt me.” He joked and Reina shook her head at him as if tired, but before she handed him the note, she looked at him carefully and asked, 

“How do you feel?”

“Bien. Iris has been helping me while you were busy sleeping.” Barry replied wittily. And Reina laughed. 

“How are you really? Enough jokes.”

“The medicine has worn off with the walking, and it hurts a lot but it’s manageable. Other than that, I really feel bien. Thank you.” Barry smiled at her. Reina smiled back. 

“You’re welcome. Now don’t disturb me anymore. If you need anything like food or water then wake me up.” Reina told him. Then she smiled at Iris before handing Barry the note. 

***

** Iris **

Iris watched on fascinated by the interaction between Reina and Barry. They were like family. How long did they know each other for? Iris already loved Reina. She had a fun personality and was constantly cracking jokes, but deeper than that she was a parent-figure to Barry, a guide, a comfort, she played a gradmotherly role in his life. And Iris could tell she would sacrifice a lot for Barry. She could tell that she already has by moving all the way over here from where Iris guessed was her home, France. And also, there was too much understanding she had about T.I, was she mixed up with them as well? Iris wanted to know more. She hoped Barry would be willing to share it with her. 

Barry opened the note and read it out loud, surprising Iris, 

“Forget it, never dream meeting at CC’s yonder pier at ten, right in corners kick.” 

“What?” Iris asked, baffled. 

Barry laughed and then winced after laughing, as he showed her the note. 

“That’s it. That’s what it really says.” 

Iris took the note from him and read it over again. 

It really was what the note said. That meant that there was a hidden message. 

“There has to be a hidden message.” Iris told him. 

Barry nodded at her in awe. 

“You’re amazing.” He told her and she laughed. Standing in front of him.

“You better stop with all these compliments.” She teased. 

“But they’re true.” He replied, leaning down closer to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist gently. Iris drew closer to him, her arms wrapping around his neck. 

“Barry we’re in this together now, right?” She asked him, looking into his eyes. 

Barry nodded with a smile. 

“So that means I get to know everything, right? The truth.”

Barry’s smile faded a bit. 

“I can’t -”

“I’m not asking you to share what you’re not ready to. I know it’s probably really hard for you to talk about your parents. It’s hard for me to talk about my mom. But, we have each other now. So what you can share, know that I’m here to listen.” 

Iris and Barry shared a look of deep understanding and feelings neither have ever experienced before. 

“Okay,” Barry breathed. “You and me.” He said. 

“Me and you.” Iris replied. 

Their faces drew closer, the distance closing. 

“I don’t want to kiss you here.” He told her, just inches away from her lips. 

Iris sighed, she was so ready. 

“Why the hell not?” She asked with a laugh. 

“I want to show you something. But I’m going to need your help to get there.” 

Iris raised an eyebrow in curiosity. 

“Okay.” She said.

***

A couple minutes later and Iris got up to Barry’s rooftop. Iris didn’t even know he had a rooftop, or a secret elevator. Things just kept getting revealed to her lately. 

She took in a deep breath of the fresh air of the cool morning and beautiful reminiscence of the passing sunrise. It was a stunning view from his rooftop. It was designed to be a small modern garden, with pebbles and running water, grass, a few planted flowers here and there, concrete and benches. 

“You’re the first one up here apart from me.” Barry told her. 

Iris’ heart soared. 

“Really?” She asked. 

“Yep, Reina doesn’t like heights. And I never thought to bring Marz or anyone else up here. Just you.”

Iris grinned at him, her eyes sparkling reflecting the light. 

Barry grinned back. He held out his hand, and Iris walked back to him from where she was exploring and took his hand. He spun her around and she giggled. Then her back was against his chest, his arms around her and they swayed slowly to no music. 

After a few moments, Iris slowly turned around and got on her tip toes, her arms reaching around his neck her eyes closed as she gently placed her lips on his. He took a moment to react, savoring the moment. Then his lips moved, kissing her back, capturing her top lip within his and adding pressure, Iris moaned softly as she also caught his lips and twisted and turned, their lips both moving in unison, separating, connecting, up and down, over and under, tongue broke in, further moans were made as they were lost in each other. 

Barry stumbled Iris over to a bench and sat down, she didn’t stop kissing him and her legs wrapped perfectly around his waist. 

“Wait, Iris - Iris -” Barry laughed, breathing hard. 

“Right, we probably shouldn’t…continue.” She grinned sheepishly at him and gave him another lingering kiss. He kissed her back and held her face as he did. 

“I think I should try to get some more rest.” Barry told her. But he didn’t look like he wanted to go. 

Iris smiled at him. 

“You should definitely freshen up a bit and get some clothes on. Distracting.” Iris joked and Barry laughed. 

Then Barry looked at her seriously for a moment, 

“Iris, I want us to take it slow.”

Iris nodded in understanding. 

“I was reckless before and -”

“Shhh, you don’t have to tell me. I understand. It’s different with us. It’s a lot. What I feel for you Barry, it’s a lot,” 

Iris took a deep breath, her hands roaming on his chest. Trying to keep him warm. 

“I’ve never felt this way before.” She admitted. 

Barry smiled, his head leaning against hers. 

“I never have either.” He told her. 

“I think I’m in lo-” Iris started but there was a sound in the distance, the two of them turned to see Marz’ car drive back into his gate, the gate opened for Marz’ car automatically, recognizing it. 

“Save that thought.” Barry smiled at her. 

Iris smiled back, she figured this wasn’t the best time to tell him anyways. 

***

Marz brought Sylvia this time. Barry told them he should get freshened up and he’ll meet them back in the living room. Before leaving he handed Marz the note and gave Iris soft a kiss. 

She grinned at him as he left. 

“I should be a matchmaker.” Sylvia said with a laugh. 

Iris laughed and shook her head at her, 

“Why, did you say something to him too?” Iris asked. 

“It wasn’t just me I’m sure, but yeah we’ve all been telling him to let go and just be with you.”

Iris smiled shyly. 

“Thanks, I guess.”

“Excuse my girl thinking everything happens because of her. What’re you talking about Syl?! Iris basically saved this boy’s life yesterday. They’re inevitable.” Marz said. 

“What?” Sylvia said surprised. 

“Marz is exaggerating, but Barry did get hurt. He called me. I did what I could. But Reina really helped him.”

“I knew he was hurt, Marz told me that part, but he failed to tell me you were the first one on the scene? Why would Barry call you first? How much do you know?” Sylvia asked. 

“Turns out she knows a lot.” Marz said, and Iris looked at him curiously wanting to know how he knew that. 

“Oh, Reina told me what you told her about your mom being a B.I. agent.” Marz explained. 

“I didn’t even tell her that! Well, not directly at least.”

“Reina, puts things together very well.” Marz told her. 

“Wait, wait, so Iris is involved?!” Sylvia asked Marz in surprise. 

“Yep. She gets to know it all.” 

“Barry was just trying to protect me. Technically, if I wasn’t involved, the two of us being together would just bring me harm, and only because of our relationship and he couldn’t do that, I guess. Not saying I agree with him, but I do get it.” Iris told Sylvia, the realization dawning on her as well. 

“Right, so I don’t get credit for all the hard work I did?” Sylvia said exasperated. Iris laughed.

“I do appreciate it though?” Iris offered. 

Then something unexpected happened, 

Sylvia went and gave Iris a big hug. 

“Welcome to the fucking team, Iris. So glad to have more female energy.”

Iris grinned. 

“Thanks. I would say, glad to be here, but I actually wish none of this existed and we all had normal lives.” Iris admitted. 

Sylvia laughed again.

“Yeah, none of us wanted to be in this mess, but we got to finish it now.” Sylvia said. 

Marz smiled. 

“I’m gonna go raid Barry’s kitchen, ya’ll catch up.” He said leaving the two women alone. 

“So, how much do you _actually_ know?” Sylvia asked Iris. 

“Honestly, not much.” Iris said. 

“Reina told me Barry will fill me in. He will soon, I’m sure.”

Sylvia nodded.

“I’ll let him tell you my story too then. Don’t really feel like repeating it. But long story short my dad was working for T.I., they killed him. I want to burn T.I. to the ground. They still have my mother. What’s your story?” She asked. 

“None of your business.” Barry appeared. 

Iris smiled at him. 

“Yeah, it really isn’t.” She murmured. She was distracted, he looked really good, he probably washed his face and did something to his hair. It looked good. He was wearing a dark grey shirt and changed to jogger pants. 

He casually put his arm around her. Iris felt like a teenager again around her crush. She smiled contently leaning into him.

Sylvia rolled her eyes and shrugged, giving it up. 

“Where did Marz go?” Barry asked. 

“The kitchen. He wanted to give us some girl time, he understands that concept.” Sylvia replied. 

Barry laughed. 

“Iris doesn’t have to tell you her story. I had to, but she doesn’t. We need to go over the note. Let me find Marz,” Barry said walking towards the kitchen. 

Iris turned to Sylvia, 

“Barry told you his story? Like what part?”

“I don’t know if I should tell you.”

“Come on Sylvia!”

“Okay, Barry told me about his parents death. And trust me, don’t make him tell you until he’s ready to, because that’s quite the nightmare story. And he can’t keep it together when he tells it.”

“How dare you be so nonchalant about all this?!” Iris asked starting to get upset. 

“Because I’ve lived in hell on earth for years when I was in T.I. headquarters, I’ve experienced all kinds of horrible things and have been through all kinds of pain. Lost friend after friend, was betrayed many times. Seen people die in various ways. I don’t have a care for acting sad and I don’t have a filter for giving a shit anymore. Because it’s all boiled down to one mission for me. Destroying T.I. and that’s it. O-only Marz side-tracked that for me…” Sylvia drifted. 

Iris calmed down. 

“Why did he tell you?”

“He needed to find somebody at the CC moive and arts awards. I got it in exchange for pointing the person out.”

Iris put two and two together. 

“Right. That’s why he kept trying to get me to go, or not stay near him. That’s why he wouldn’t tell me why he was speaking to the bodyguard guy. Makes sense.”

“Yep.” Sylvia said. 

Iris then recalled the night Barry came to her home drunk and medicated. She remembered how he said he had to talk about his parents death. The pain he felt in doing so. 

Iris narrowed her eyes at Sylvia.

“Why did you want his story?” She asked. 

“Because I couldn’t trust him otherwise. I don’t like bringing up people’s painful pasts as much as you wouldn’t like doing it, but the reality is that if the pain was real, and the story was real then I could really believe him. Then I could help him. My mission is the most important thing to me, well, apart from Marz as well now. But it’s pretty much what I’ve been working on for years. I don’t trust easy. I don’t like to join hands with people, but, I realized that it’s much easier to take T.I. down with a team than by yourself. And knowing Barry had the same mission as me, though we have different ideals, it makes sense to team up after I knew I could trust him.”

“What do you mean by different ideals though?” Iris asked. 

“Barry wants to save everyone who is imprisoned under T.I. and throw T.I. workers, those who don’t surrender, in jail and have them be tried with how much they complied. He doesn’t really want people to die unless it’s necessary. Whereas, I want to literally burn the place to the ground after freeing the enslaved prisoners they have working for them. Rather than send those bastards working for T.I. to jail, I want them to burn in the hell they created.” Sylvia said it so plainly, it was almost comical. 

“But- you said your dad worked for T.I., would you have wanted someone to do that to him?”

Sylvia paused, thinking about her reply. 

“I don’t know.” Was what she answered. 

“It sounds like to me those who started and those who are leading T.I. are causing and perpetuating most of these issues. They’re the ones sustaining this evil organization, and the ones creating the culture. In my opinion, they’re the ones that really need to be taken down. Everyone else was either coerced or convinced to join, right?”

“You and Barry are perfect for each other.” Sylvia simply said. Iris grinned. 

Then Barry and Marz came back in, both of them still scrutinizing the note. 

Sylvia snatched it from Marz, 

“Syl, why you gotta be like that, you could just ask for it?”

Sylvia grinned at Marz. 

“Thanks, babe!” She told him. “What on earth is this?!” She then asked after looking at the paper for a while. 

“It’s a code of some sort,” Iris said. “let me see it again.”

Sylvia handed it over to Iris.

Iris looked at it carefully. 

“It’s not phrased properly. And it’s interesting, but I just noticed that the handwriting is kind of funny, the first letter of each word is a little bit slanted, do you notice that?”

Iris showed Sylvia and she nodded, Barry went to Iris’ side to look at the paper, and Marz went next to Sylvia, and the four of them just stared curiously at it. 

“You’re a genius!” Sylvia said to Iris. 

“What?” Iris asked. 

“You’re right it’s a code, and you’re right it doesn’t make sense that the first letter of each word is written worse than the rest of the letters.”

“It’s the first letter of each other!” Iris said, shocked. 

They all quickly put it together, 

**F** orget **i** t, **n** ever **d** ream **m** eeting **a** t **C** C’s **y** onder **p** ier **a** t **t** en, **r** ight **i** n **c** orners **k** ick.

“Who the hell is Macy Patrick?!” Sylvia asked. 

Barry sighed. 

“That’s what it says, find Macy Patrick.”

“I know what it says Sylvia, I’m sighing because that’s just another person we’ve got to find.”

“Wait…Macy Patrick…I think I know where to find her. Her name is familiar, she sounds like someone I know. I think I’ve worked for her before.” Iris told them. 

They all looked at Iris. 

“What? Looks like you all really needed me after-all.” Iris said, smiling at them. 

Barry grinned at her.

“So where can we find her?”

“She actually lives close by Central City pier. So that actually works, somehow?” 

“What does she do?”

“She owns a small cosmetics company, she needed a PR specialist for her company. Once it took off, she didn’t need me anymore. Nothing seemed off about her.” 

“People are very good at hiding things.” Sylvia said. 

“Alright, I’m guessing ten in the evening on Friday makes sense too?” Marz asked. 

“And I think Corner’s Kick is a bar down there?” Sylvia offered. 

“Well, then, this was a whole letter.” Barry said and he and Marz laughed. 

The girls just started at the boys blankly. 

“Anyways,” Barry said, “Guess that means we’re going to be there at ten this friday, and we need to find Macy Patrick. You remember what she looks like, right Iris?” Barry asked her. 

“Yeah, I do.” Iris nodded for emphasis. 

“Alright, we’ll all be there.”

“Including me?” Iris smiled up at him. Barry looked worried, but he smiled back. 

“Yeah.” He said. 

“Alrighty, I think I understand how you felt about Sylvia and I, we should go and let ya’ll have your mush fest.” Marz said. 

“You go, I wanna stay and watch what I helped to make happen!” Sylvia said in a jokingly cheerful way.

Iris tried not to laugh, but failed. 

And Barry sent her the middle finger, but was trying not to laugh as well. 

“Barry!” Iris exclaimed, bringing his hand down. Marz playfully picked up Sylvia as she squealed and giggled and threw her on his shoulder. He turned back,

“Good to see you’re okay Barry.” He nodded, and Barry returned it. 

“Thanks for all your help.” He said genuinely, then after a pause. “Both of you.” 

“You’re welcome, Barry and Iris!” Sylvia yelled back as Marz lugged her out of the room. 

Iris started cracking up when Sylvia left. 

“She sure is, something.” Iris said, trying to regain her composure. Barry grinned at her. 

“I love your laugh.” He stated, catching her off guard. 

His words affected her so much. She felt a flurry of butterflies in her stomach at that statement. 

She drew closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He smiled at her in that special way, that heart-filled smile that reached his beautiful eyes and made them sparkle. He continued then, 

“Sylvia is…Sylvia. But she’s terrified of T.I., traumatized by them, she like Reina have interesting coping mechanisms that include making fun of me at times I guess?” Barry tried to explain. 

“Well, I like them. Both of them. And Marz too. They’re like your family.” Iris said happily. 

“Marz and Reina? They _are_ my family. Sylvia, well, she’s growing on me I guess? She’s like the annoying sister I wish I never had.” He told Iris and she laughed at that. 

“You all are so close. It’s beautiful. My Dad, my brother and I are close too, but we aren’t so cheerful like that. You’ve all been through so much and yet you get to be so playful, have so much fun.”

“Because that’s how we cope. Apart from drinking and medicating for me, I cope with Reina and Marz and my art we joke around, but we’re all hurt somehow. Marz copes with music and medicating as well, I’m the bad influence. Sylvia copes with…well whatever she copes with, I don’t know. I assume it’s playing piano and whatever her poison is.”

Iris nodded, she got it. She coped with burring herself in work. In becoming the best. In becoming someone foreign to herself. She wasn’t that outgoing or adventurous, and she didn’t let Wally be that way too which caused a bit of a rift with between her and her brother, straining their relationship. They weren’t as close as they could’ve been if she had lived a little more after her mother passed, or supposedly passed. She sighed. She boxed herself in, went for the safe option with Eddie but as it turned out that was just more suffering. She buried herself, didn’t allow herself to really live. 

That was her poison. 

“Barry?” Iris asked. 

“Yeah?” He replied looking at her concerned. 

“When you heal completely, can you teach me how to ride your bike?”

Barry looked surprised.

“My motorcycle?!” Barry asked. 

“Yeah.” Iris asked. 

“Sure, sure, okay.” He said, grinning after a moment. 

“Thank you.” She said. 

“Can I ask why you want to learn though?”

“Because deep down inside I always wanted to learn, and I’m going to finally allow myself to live.”

Barry grinned at that. 

***

 **Iris and Barry** _At his place, the theater room_

It was a few hours later and Barry and Iris were wrapped up in each other, Iris on Barry’s lap, not leaning against the side of his stomach that was cut, but comfortably relaxing against the other side. 

For Iris, it felt like she was in another world. In a world where she and Barry met sometime in High School, fell deeply in love and got married as High School sweethearts. Or where they met by happenstance while at some award show or something, and he walked up to her and told her she had a beautiful smile. Because that’s what Barry told her he would’ve told her if he could’ve the first time they met. 

She had the most beautiful smile. 

For Barry, he just wanted to pause time. This was everything he wanted. This moment. The feeling of being with Iris was the feeling of home he was missing in his life. She smelled good too, he wondered what shampoo she used for her hair. He admired everything about her. Her features, her skin, her eyes, he hair, everything. The more he got to know her the deeper he fell. The more he didn’t want this to ever end. 

The two of them were playing a game of favorites to get to know each other more. 

“Favorite food?” Iris asked. 

“Lasagna.” He said, laughing a bit. 

“No way!”

“Yep, lasagna.” 

“You gotta try my dad’s then.” Iris said. 

“Okay, favorite place in Central City?”

“I think the pier, actually? Like the beautiful park part of it. Not all the booze and crazy nightlife part.”

“Hey, don’t hate on the nightlife part.” Barry said. 

“Favorite thing to do when you’re bored?”

“Do you really wanna know?” Barry asked. 

Iris looked up at Barry. 

“Is it bad?”

Barry looked down at her. 

“You’re so cute.” 

Iris stuck her tongue at him.

“I still need to know the answer.” She told him. 

“I would smoke drugs.” Barry told her bluntly. 

Iris sat up a little straighter. 

“So every time you say medicating, you mean -”

“- taking drugs.” Barry answered. 

Iris didn’t know what to say. Barry could tell it scared her a bit. 

“Uhm, okay.” Iris said, but she didn’t sound all that okay with it. 

After another moment she asked, 

“Like, weed?” 

Barry chuckled. 

“That was what I smoked when I was a teen. I don’t even know the actual names of the drugs I smoke now. I just get them from people who know the good stuff. And by that I mean drugs that aren’t dangerously addictive and have the least side affects. I mix them with tobacco or something else to lessen their strength and then I smoke them.”

“Wow.” Was all Iris could say. 

“They work wonders. Cause you see, I don’t get bored, what I get is restless. And then I think too much, and that never ends well for me.” 

“You’re avoiding sadness. Mourning your parents. You’ve been avoiding it.” Iris told him. Barry looked at her, there was concern in her eyes. 

“Maybe.” He agreed. 

“Funnily enough, I didn’t avoid it, I drowned in it. I let my mother’s supposed death control my life and how I saw things. I made some stupid decisions for myself. Got in a bad relationship.”

“Eddie?” Barry asked. 

“Yeah, I’m not ready to talk about that yet.” Iris admitted. 

Barry nodded. 

“I guess you should know I wasn’t committed to any girl I was ever with. To be fair, I told them I didn’t want to date. I never had a real relationship and the closest person to a real relationship was just, messed up and I was too. She encouraged me to smoke when I tried to stop.”

“Ah, well, I encourage you to stop.” Iris told him seriously. 

Barry didn’t know what to say to that. He was so used to it. It was something he could fall back to. Every time he stopped, he failed. He didn’t know how to deal with the pain without it anymore, how would he cope with the worst nights?

“I don’t know.” Barry said. 

“Take your time. But you don’t need it. What you need is to heal. I had to learn that as well.”

“Have you healed?” Barry asked Iris, both of them inching closer. 

“I’m getting there. But I want to now. More than ever.” 

“Why?”

“Because I realized that we’re never going to be free if we don’t heal. We’re going to hurt ourselves and each other. And I don’t want to _ever_ hurt you.”

Barry breathed. 

“I love you.” He uttered. It was the softest whisper, but Iris heard it. How they fell so quick, so fast, Iris didn’t know but she felt what he was feeling one hundred percent, if not more, and it was strong, it was powerful, it was immense, it was love. 

Iris kissed him, passionately, savoring his lips on hers. 

“And I love you, Barry Allen.” She responded, loud enough for him to hear. 

They kissed again, and Iris ran her hands through his hair, the two of them drinking each other in, their bodies pressed close together. Iris moved her body to be better situated on him, but realized that she couldn’t because of his cut, pulled away and sat back where she was.

“Let’s just watch the movie?” Iris offered. Patting him gently. 

Barry grinned at her sheepishly.

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

“After, I need you to tell me everything you can tell me about T.I., I need to know everything.” Iris told him. 

Barry nodded. 

Iris leaned back and wrapped his arms around her. They settled in the large movie chair and tried to rest in these moments of normalcy, because they both knew that meeting Macy Patrick might bring them to a new stage of the mission, a more dangerous stage.

_This work was written by Lspark_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loved writing this chapter! Their love is beautiful. Next chapter will reveal more of Barry and Iris' past. Also, I gotta say I listened to Shawn Mendes song 'Fallin' All In You' for the first time before I wrote this chapter, and I will just say that is this Barry and Iris' SONG! Like that is their song! lol. It inspired me heavily. So yeah I'd recommend giving it a listen.


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